A Cartoonish Life

I'm thinking of re-doing all of my previous ones, now that I've figured out how to do screencaps. :D

And I don't know who else watches "Hoarders" on A&E, but I always feel compelled to CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN and throw shit out after watching. Is it just me?

"The Christmas Toy"!



For those of you who are unaware about this Christmas gem, this was a sweet special made with those Muppets. It first aired December 6, 1986 (I did my homework, hee hee), and I've had it on an old decrepit video tape that my grandma made for me of a crapload of kiddie Christmas special. And it is so, so fun to watch.

The old, initial viewing of it featured Kermit the Frog scaling up the house and going down the chimney dressed as Santa Claus and landing in the playroom of the house. (Why there's a fireplace in a kids' playroom is beyond me. Sounds kind of dangerous, if you ask me.) Kermit tells us this home belongs to a family who has an older teenage daughter plus twins named Jessie and Jamie. But this story is not about them; rather, the story focuses on two of Jamie's favorite toys. One is a red-headed curly-top dolly named Apple, and the other is a stuffed tiger cub named Rugby. Kermit then leaves the playroom, Santa-style. (Note: If you have the DVD release of this, the intro with Kermit is edited out because of legal reasons between Jim Henson/Disney and Lionsgate.)
( Ego trips, delusions of grandeur, power plays, and death by freezing plus some 80s commercials! This special has it all! )

*looks at her clock* Holy crap, it's nearly 1 AM! I promised I'd get this done, though! Stay tuned for the new one later on tonight!

[Poll #1440666]

Last time on "Jem," Malone the private eye broke into the drive-in where Jerrica and the rest of the girls were hiding Synergy. He started smashing Synergy with a chair, and Synergy alerted Jerrica. When they got back to the drive-in, the girls saw Synergy in pieces, but it was just a hologram. Nevertheless, the girls--after finding out that the detective was sent by Eric--decided to load Synergy up and take the whole console back to the Mansion. Malone showed his pictures to Eric of Synergy, and deduced that Jerrica and Jem MUST be the same person, and Eric was all, "That's crap, but I want that....thing." The Misfits got desperate to screw things up for Jem and the Holograms, but then Ashley dropped by and decided that the Misfits weren't very good friends and gave them the $30 back. Eric realized who she was, and decided to kidnap her and use her as blackmail. He called Jerrica hours before the Battle of the Bands and told her to collect Ashley within a half hour--ALONE--or else. This meant they'd miss the BOTB, but they decided Ashley's safety was more important than winning. The Misfits didn't want to "babysit" Ashley (whom they stuffed in a trunk) while Eric went to meet up with Jerrica, and there was a squabble between Pizzazz/Roxy and Stormer over it. Stormer decided to sell out and join her comrades instead of helping Ashley. Pizzazz tried hitting on Rio again, but when he rejected her and was all, "Jem's waaaay better," Pizzazz was all, "Nyah, whatever, dick." Jem (and the Holograms) showed up at the drive-in to negotiate with Eric, but he had his thugs make sure they were "tied up" and couldn't make it to the BOTB. Didn't matter--Jem found a way to escape. Back at the arena, Eric and Rio nearly got into a scuffle, but then Rio found out Ashley had been kidnapped and was locked in a trunk. He saved her, then they went to the drive-in (with the cops) to rescue Jem and the Holograms. The cops arrested Eric's hired thugs, and they got Jem and the Holograms back to the arena in time to perform....and WIN. They got to keep the Starlight Mansion, they are now contractually obligated to do a movie with Howard Sands' production company, and best of all, Eric Raymond was fired from Starlight Music. The Misfits got mega-pissed, and Pizzazz vowed revenge on Jem. At the end, Jerrica and Rio went to Starlight Music to take back what was rightfully Jerrica's, but not before dealing with Eric, who had to blow the right people to stay out of jail. He took whatever he could get his mitts on before he left, and--being the bastard that he is--slapped Jerrica across the face. Rio, in turn, punched him in the face HARD. Jerrica vows to make Starlight Music into something her dad would be proud of, she and Rio kiss, and we end with Jem and the Holograms singing on the top of Starlight Music.

Oh, and Jerrica never told Rio that she's really Jem.

CUE THE THEME SONG!



This episode is part of another mini-series, the "Starbright" arc. It's called "Falling Star," but I like to call it "Jem Is PMS-ing Hardcore." ( Read more... )

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SHE WANTS OUT OF THIS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY?! OH BOO HOO. ( Read more... )

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"I'm finished with you, I've had it with them, I QUIT." ( Read more... )

TO BE CONTINUED.....(not again!)

And to close this snark out...since they were seeking Jem and Jerrica earlier this episode....Oh baby baby, have you seen Jem or Jerrica tonight? Is either one of them in the bathroom? Are they smokin' up outside, oh?



And on a sad note, Linda Dangcil, the woman who played Raya in the later episodes of "Jem" passed away on May 7th. This snark was dedicated to her, even though I haven't even gotten around to snarking on episodes with Carmen "Raya" Alonso in them yet.

Getting home from the funeral trip, I just now realized how bad I've been at updating the "Jem" snark. And I wanted to do episode four with screencaps, but I can't find any good ones online, and I don't know how to make my own. (If anyone has a link or tutorial on how to do so, please feel free to let me know.) The next best thing I can do is use YouTube, I suppose.

CUE THE THEME SONG!



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1:12-1:13 The lustful look in their eyes...time for sexing!

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Later on......VEGAS BABY! YEAH!



Yeah, you knew I was going to post it.

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"You aren't fit to breathe the same air as Jem!"

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"I wouldn't heat up leftovers for these no-talents!"

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THIS BAG IS OBVIOUSLY JEM'S! LET'S MAKE THIS THIEVERY LOOK VERY OBVIOUS! *cue the Carlos Mencia 'DEE-DEE-DEE'*

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HOLY CRAP. Jerrica is shit out of luck now!!!

TO BE CONTINUED.............



And since this was a Las Vegas-themed episode....one last video.

In the last episode of "Jem," the Starlight Girls were left without a home after the fire; Jerrica had her friends (with her as Jem, of course) stage an impromptu mini-concert to butter up Howard Sands into letting the foster girls use the mansion as a temporary home until the Battle of the Bands; the Misfits had a problem with this and caused trouble; Eric told the Misfits, "Knock that shit off!"; Jem and the Holograms performed again once they all moved in and the Misfits crashed that; a bomb went off at the mansion; some fancy schmancy countess invited Jem and the Holograms (and Rio, too) to her party on a yacht that night and snubbed the Misfits; Jem and the Holograms met Lin-Z Pierce and Anthony Julian; Anthony hit on Shana; Jem tried hitting on Rio and telling him she was really his girlfriend in disguise, but the Misfits ruined that and caused trouble at the party; Pizzazz got it into her head that she could pull a Rory Gilmore and pilot a yacht; and the yacht was heading straight for an oil barge.

Oh, and Jerrica never told Rio that she's really Jem.

Sing along with me! "Jem is truly snark-rageous! Truly, truly, truly snark-rageous!":



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Par-ee!



Err, she meant "Paris."

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*shakes head* Oh Jerrica, even if Jem and the Holograms win this contest, they're going to be in so much debt because of Eric Raymond being a greedy prick. Can't she at least hire a lawyer to see about this?!

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So here are the rules to being a Misfit:
--A Misfit never asks for anything.
--A Misfit takes whatever he/she wants.
--No "please" or "thank you" crap. A "GIMME!" will suffice.

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OUTRAGEOUS!!!

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STAY TUNED FOR EPISODE 4! (And once again, very special thanks for the screencaps from here.)

And no, not "Rock of Love Bus" snark (which I still intend to do). But I'm finally sitting myself down to do some snarking of my absolute favorite cartoon ever!




About freaking time, I say!

So I put the first disc of the DVD set in my player to settle down and start watching, because frankly (for the purpose of the groups I post in), I need to get reacquainted with the show. And what bothers the living crap out of me is that for the VERY FIRST EPISODE, they have replaced the original "Jem is truly outrageous!" theme song with that "Me and my friends are Jem girls" crap. You know, the non-gender specific one. My inner six-year-old is dying. This was NOT the original theme song, for crying out loud.

Oh hell. Here's the original theme song. If Rhino was going to do something, they could've at least done it right, you'd think:



Now is it me, or did the animation in the opening sequence alone seem better than the actual show animation? Big deal, when I was a kid, I wasn't paying attention to that stuff. I'd be running home after school because "OMG! JEM'S ON!" and turn on channel 9 (WGN) and plop my butt down in front of the TV to get my fill because I CAN'T MISS THE THEME SONG!!!! That theme song is EVERYTHING! You know why? Because Jem is outrageous. Truly, truly outrageous.

Anyway, let's get to the actual show. ( Read more... )

The first "pissy Rio moment" in the show, I LOVE IT! ( Read more... )

Jerrica's all, "What the crap IS this?!" ( Read more... )

Roxy: "So what? We're the Misfits!"
Stormer: "You can't tell us what to do!"
Pizzazz: "Stay out of my way, or else!"
Jerrica: "Or else what?"

Or else they'll break into song, that's what! ( Read more... )

Jerrica just got pwned. ( Read more... )

It's the ghost of Christmas past! ( Read more... )

So she introduces herself and the band as Jem and the Holograms. Wowee. Original. *slow golf clap* ( Read more... )

Who's da man?( Read more... )

Man, it'd be something if life was like this. Everyone erupts into a music video when you get in the middle of a conversation. ( Read more... )

STAY TUNED FOR THE RECAP OF "DISASTER"! Until then, stay outrageous!

Last week on "Rock of Love: Charm School"...the girls recruited their own bands for a "Battle of the Bands;" hot guys took their shirts off, there was drama over Maura, her brother, and something Brandi M. DIDN'T say about it; CAMELTOE!; Megan was a a catty bitch and got physical with Brandi M.; and Sharon just got tired of Megan's shit and eliminated her, but that's okay, because Megan really wants to be a dentist. Oh wait, Brandi C. threatened to leave as well because Megan was axed, and she went batshit crazy in the process. But she's still in the competition. Because the nutso pink-blonde is good for ratings, now that the sociopathic Megan is gone.

At the beginning of this episode, we get mini-recaps from three girls who may end up on the chopping block tonight. Inna, who has been down for elimination a couple of times already, and knows she has no more room to mess things up. Brandi M., who has been down for elimination a few times herself as well, but manages to get out of it each time by pushing out a few tears. And Brandi C., who cries like a bratty little girl each and every episode. ESPECIALLY last week.

What this episode should be called?:



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Yay, now that Megan is gone, it's okay for me to hate on Lacey again. THANKS MEGAN!

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Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Birmingshire, Page of Irvingcrow Harrington.


W.
T.
F?!
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Anyway.....the DUCHESS!




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Onto dessert! "Oh, I do love spotted dick!"

..........Jigga-WHAT?!!!

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Funny how all it took was a good night's sleep to sharpen my wit.

Last week on "Rock of Love Girls: Charm School," Sgt. Jones came back and made the girls toss sandbags on a beach, Brandi C. cried and was later carried on a sled (with Megan) by the other girls, Brandi M. vandalized Brandi C.'s and Megan's pictures as revenge, the girls assembled stages, Lacey was a showoff, Dallas couldn't understand a damn word Angelique was saying, Brandi C. cried again at elimination (even though she wasn't up for elimination....WHY, I have no idea), and Angelique was sent back to Paris so she could bee a happee, seckzy streeper.

Picking up where we left off, Lacey, Brandi C. and Megan are lamenting Angelique's expulsion. Lacey claims she really liked Angelique (because she wasn't really a threat to her and she thinks, "HA, one more bitch out of my hair!") and Brandi C. says that Angelique wasn't even the weakest link. Brandi C. is just damn lucky that her team won the challenge the other day or else she definitely would've been up on the chopping block. However, I hold on to my theory that the REAL reason Angelique was eliminated was because the average TV viewer hates reading subtitles, and if Angelique were kept on a good chunk of this season, she would've scared off half of the audience weeth her craaaaazy French accent.

Meanwhile, the Terrible Three are still plotting on how to get even with that "nasty, trailer trash" Brandi M. They know Brandi M. won't be on her best behavior forever (ha ha, good luck! This IS "Charm School," and if Brandi M. is looking to seriously turn herself around, she just might surprise you), and Lacey's all, "Well, we've already got under her skin, and that seed has been planted." ( Read more... )

Sweet Jessica the onetime-NASA-intern comments, "I don't know if these girls got the same note I did, because a lot of them look like they're ready to turn tricks on Hollywood Boulevard or go to the county fair."

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SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE MEGAN SOME SPEECH LESSONS!!!! Quit saying "like" and "you know" all the damn time!!!

"Valley Girl" by Moon Unit Zappa (with daddy Frank):


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I think the fact that Rodeo is older than the rest of the group and has a kid herself gives her a bit of an advantage. The majority of the girls in the house are on that adolescent-level, and if she has to treat them like a kid and manhandle them, she isn't above that. Basically, Rodeo doesn't put up with childish crap like stealing and cheating and lying.

Who else here thinks Rodeo doesn't really need Charm School?

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Oh the drama. This makes for good TV.

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Elimination time. Lacey doesn't feel like she's going home tonight, and really, there's no need for Lacey to. ( Read more... )