A Cartoonish Life

Disney Movie Rewards just announced their ultimate reward:

Tour for Four of the Walt Disney Studios and El Capitan Theater

TWENTY THOUSAND POINTS.

That would mean you would have to buy EVERY DVD and CD that Disney has out right now and have accumulated all of your points from the last year or so just to be able to earn this!

What kills me is that my previous point balance didn't roll over because I hadn't spent any of them over a period of time. (Sorry, but I didn't see any rewards I cared much for since I got my Up! grape soda top pin.) I was saving them up for something bigger and better (LIKE THIS, MAYBE?!).

Disney owns my soul, sadly. *sigh*

So Kevin and I went to Six Flags Great America yesterday. And if you haven't been there yet this summer, you might want to go soon. First of all, they're running the American Eagle backwards until September 17th in honor of the coaster's 35th anniversary (30th or 35th, something like that. Or it may be the park's. I can't remember.).

SECOND of all, they're shutting down the Iron Wolf September 5th and getting rid of it. Which you know what that means. POTENTIAL NEW ROLLERCOASTER!!! *squeeee!* In all seriousness, though, Six Flags Great America needs a new rollercoaster reeeeeally badly. That Dark Knight coaster really wasn't worth the hype, and the Little Dipper is just a transplant kids' rollercoaster from when Kiddieland was shut down. The last big rollercoaster SFGA got was Superman: The Ride.

My suggestions for the rides? They really need to get some groundskeepers on the job and do a better job of upkeeping the ride atmospheres. They could get rid of quite a bit of the plants by the Demon AND repaint the rocks AND get rid of all the gum people like to stick on the "stalactites." (That was just gross.) They could also try to spruce up the queuing area around there because it looks kind of run-down. Also, they REALLY need to think about revamping the queuing area around Batman: The Ride because all of the Tim Burton-style Batman stuff just makes it look outdated. Just re-theme it after the Nolan-verse Batman films (ESPECIALLY since The Dark Knight Returns will probably be out by next summer).

As for a replacement coaster for Iron Wolf? I would die if they got a rollercoaster that was on the same playing field with the X2 out at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Or the new Green Lantern coaster, which looks INSANE:



( As for the rest of the trip? Wellll.... )

Other than that, it was a fun day. My feet are sore today, and I don't have much of a voice left, but it was a fun day.

I don't really like to talk about my love life on here, but stuff needs to be said.

Okay. As we all know, I've been struggling to lose some weight for quite a while and I've been unsuccessful at it. I'm not comfortable with my waist. It's gotten flabby.

Kevin likes to cuddle. I don't. Why do I not like to cuddle? First of all, I'm not a very touchy-feely person. Second of all, it involves him holding on to my waist.

MY FLABBY WAIST. It makes me feel fat. I wish he would not do this. I think he would kind of "get" this by now.

Another thing, and this is not limited to just Kevin. I don't like it when anyone sneaks up on me or tries to jump out and surprise me. This is primarily why I don't like going into carnival "haunted houses," and I had a bad experience when Dad tried to do this to me when I was younger. I've told Kevin about this. And yet, I don't know why he does it, but he still likes to sneak up behind me and grab me around my FLABBY WAIST. And he gets annoyed that I'm so jumpy when he sneaks up behind me. I've told him I don't like it when anyone sneaks up behind me. We've been together three years! Why does he still do this?!

It's not like I'm trying to reject his advances on purpose. I'm JUST NOT COMFORTABLE with stuff like that. I think I'm going to have a talk with him about this stuff. I know he's doing the boyfriend-ly thing, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Seriously, we were without power for nearly 48 freaking hours! And you know, no power is one thing. But when it affects your water supply, then it's ridiculous. And I had just gotten back from Indiana Beach with Kevin, and I was all sweaty and disgusting from being there, and I needed to wash up, and I was gross for nearly three straight days and it was DRIVING ME NUTS. In 90-degree humid weather. With no toilet to flush if I had to go to the bathroom.

It.
Was.
DISGUSTING.

But now I'm in nice air-conditioning, being thankful that NIPSCO managed to get it fixed (although it took forever). And I'm clean. And I can go to the bathroom and flush the toilet. Ahhhhh, hooray for modern amenities! (I'd never hack it in the olden days.)

No one will understand what I mean by this, but..............

Ashley Tisdale? No.

Just....no.

Please God, no. Don't let it happen. Just......no.

....No!

...................NO, I tell you! No! Just NO!


I hope this doesn't happen. I really hope not. Toy Fair came and went, and it seemed like there was NO sign or mention of you-know-who at all. Now I hear some mumblings that Ashley Tisdale's production company has optioned something for it, and...............NO!!!


I haven't done a "Jem" snark in ages. I really need to get back on the ball.

To be honest, not a whole lot has been going on lately. I'm still fighting the good fight at work, hating the job and everything that comes along with it. Home life is still just as irritating. And my 30th birthday is coming up in less than a month...and the depression sets in.

I thought I would be moved out and away from my family by now. I really did. But I'm pretty much living paycheck to paycheck because of bills. I still feel that I'm wasting my time at SVT. I also feel that my parents don't expect me to move out anymore and constantly rely on me to do shit for them, and I still feel underappreciated around the house, and it's really pissing me off. I haven't been able to get a second job to earn some side cash. And things with Kevin are okay, but that's just it. They're okay. We've been together for about three years now, and sometimes I don't think he takes the relationship very seriously.

To top it all off, the holidays are just around the corner, and to be completely honest, I'm not looking forward to them at all this year. I feel this year, customers are going to be even more irritated and cranky to deal with than before. And then to add insult to injury...let's put it this way. I work in a very conservative town where everyone lives by the rules of the church. Lately, I've just been questioning my own faith. I don't even know what I believe in anymore. And I feel if I were to tell anyone this, they'd just barrage me with a bunch of pro-Christian stuff to try to reinforce my belief in Christ, and...that just ain't cutting it for me anymore. That "God has a plan" stuff really doesn't make you feel any better when it looks like everything's going to shit. If this is God's great plan, to be living as an indigent under my parents' roof while working for just a little over slave wages at a crummy grocery store where I have to deal with stupid cranky people on a daily basis and watching my mother's neurological disease slowly get worse, I don't like it.

Happy Easter, everybody! Plans for today include going to Gramma Julie's for Easter. Then later on, I'm shooting up to Kevin's mother's place for a little while. :)

I don't know what it is about me not liking going to holiday things at Gramma Julie's anymore. I think I would like it better if Sandy weren't there. For one thing, it's like the only time of year we ever see her--at Christmas and Easter. For another thing...she just makes me feel so inferior, with her IU-student/sorority girl/spoiled brat life.

And her skinniness and tanned skin and blonde hair.

And her Abercrombie and Fitch wardrobe.

And how she just texts on her cellphone half the time and barely engage in conversation with the rest of us.

And chows down on the spinach-and-artichoke dip because she's a vegetarian and barely touches the rest of the food (except for shrimp cocktail; she's not TOO vegetarian to pass up the shrimp cocktail).

Just.....ugh. I don't even know what she has planned for what she's going to do when she graduates. I hear she was shooting for a career in broadcast communications, but who knows?

I sat down and really thought about it earlier last week. And you know what? I really don't know if I want to go back to school and finish up the journalism thing. It's not really what I wanted to go to college for in the first place. I honestly feel like I was pushed into it by my high school guidance counselor. I would've really loved to have pursued that dream of being an animator and went to art school. And you know....I could still do it. Because quite frankly, I'm at this point in my life where I'm done with trying to do what Mom wants me to do so she can be proud of me. I'd rather be happy with what I do with my life rather than trying to please the impossibly-hard-to-please.

Here's my goal. I want to sit down and write a book of my memoirs as a grocery store cashier. I want to publish this. I want to earn money off of this. And with this money, I'll fund my way through art school.

You know, when I just want to curl up on my bed and cry for no reason. I don't want to go to work and deal with all of the rude, dumbass customers today. I really don't. I feel this way each and every day I go to work, and I just get this incredible urge to scream and run away from the place upon entering. Or I just take my nametag off mid-order, throw it on the floor, declare "That's it, I quit" and just walk out. I get absolutely no job fulfillment or personal satisfaction waiting on people who are just going to treat me like crap.

Sometimes I wish we really were allowed to say what the hell we want to the customers without having to worry about them complaining to management. It's such a joke. A really bad joke.



I'm sure Eddie Blake would agree with me.

Work, family, social life....everything except for my love life.

I'm getting sick of work by the day. I keep telling myself, "Every job is like this," but it's really starting to try my patience. I've been working eight-hour shifts every day since last Wednesday, and I don't get a day off until Friday. For the last three days, by the time my shift is over with, my feet and knees are killing me. I seem to always get stuck on register ten, where the hand scanner doesn't work--HASN'T been working properly for the last few weeks--and I have to physically go around and lift the heavy stuff for the lazy customers.

The customers are grating my nerves more than normal. I swear, the next time I ask, "Did you find everything you were looking for?" and I get a smart-assy answer such as "No, I couldn't find the money tree/winning lottery ticket/bag of money/lost hundred dollar bill" (and the last one has irritated me even more so in the last few days, given that I fucking FOUND a fifty dollar bill and did the honest thing and turned it in to the service desk)....I want just be entirely blunt and tell the customer "I got tired of that joke after the first fifteen minutes of working here." But noooo, can't do that! Then they'll complain to management that I have no sense of humor, and I'll get a speaking-to about that. Trust me, customers do stupid shit like this. Like they have nothing better to do. You know, some days I just don't feel like joking around, okay?!

Customers always feel the need to bitch about the consoles, especially the whole fact that you have to sign your name on the pad now instead of on a piece of paper. Seriously, it's not that hard to sign! The harder you press the stylus to the pad, the more likely nothing will show up; use a light touch! And please quit bitching about "this looks NOTHING like my signature, I don't see how you guys can accept this." Then maybe you shouldn't be paying with your credit card. It's this shit that's gotten us into the credit pinch/financial crisis the USA is in right now--unnecessary purchases on your credit card.

Oooh, and yes, the stylus has a blunt, rounded end. Yes, you can sign with it. Don't look at it for two minutes with that "you expect me to write with this?!" expression on your face. Hell, you can write your name on there with your damn fingertip. God, people are picky.

Also, if you normally wear glasses, is it so hard to wear them while you do your damn grocery shopping?! Next customer I hear complaining that they can't see shit on the credit card console because "I'm not wearing my glasses," I'll slap a bitch.


"Jinkies! Where are my glasses?!"

If the UC asks the customer if they want paper or plastic bags, the customer will usually ignore them and then tell me how they want their stuff bagged. Guess what? I'm not the UC. I'm the cashier. Tell the UC how you want it bagged. Don't act like they don't exist.

And while I'm on the subject, I refuse to do anymore bagging of the groceries until I'm done with the money transaction, so the UCs need to be ON IT with the bagging. I think a lot of me helping with the bagging has a lot to do with my till being off--I'm not paying attention to the transaction because I'm too busy picking up the slack.

You have two separate orders? Fine. I'll ring them up separate. I don't need to hear the story about how "this is for church charity" or "for my sick neighbor" as to why it's a separate order.

If I ask for coupons, don't be a smart-ass and be all, "Oh yeah, that'd be smart." Uhm, yes, it WOULD be smart. Don't bitch to me about high grocery prices, then buy a bunch of useless junk food and not try to save money. "Why? Do you have any for me?" Nope. Not anymore. I'm not going to pass along the unused coupons in my coupon holder to help you out anymore. You jerks sure don't appreciate it. Go search the newspapers and Internet. Not that hard.

As for the UCs....do your freaking job, and shut your trap while you do it. I'm tired of seeing a cluster of UCs around my register just chatting and gossiping during an order and not getting much work done. Doug always talks about the chicks he talks to and his supposed girlfriend that I don't think exists, and then there's Andy who's always going on and on about something, usually wrestling, or high school football, or how the Cubs suck, or whatever programming's on Vh1's CelebReality block. Andy's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but damn, he gets downright irritating.

Keep telling myself I need a new job or a second job, trying to save up to move out...feeling like that'll never happen. Feeling trapped.


Family life....whenever Dad's home, he just lazes around the house and sleeps a lot. Then he'll want to watch late-night TV and fall asleep with the TV blaring. This is opposite my room, and it keeps me up late, which is why I'm usually online so late anymore. BECAUSE I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP. Makes a bunch of messes and doesn't clean them up, and expects me and Mom to do it. Mom gets frustrated with him a lot. Goes off to do his hunting and fishing, never around the house when we need him.

We all know why Mom pisses me off. Sometimes I wish she would just lighten up and try to be positive. I think a lot of her attitude rubs off on the whole family.

Hunter....okay, I know where he's coming from. He's busy with his erratic work schedule and college classes. But he's out with Bobby a lot more lately. (And here comes Bobby now, speak of the devil.) Doesn't pick up after himself. Just locks himself in his room playing "Guitar Hero" or "Rock Band." Drives Mom nuts. Can't even be bothered to do as much as take Bo out for a walk.

Poor Bo is stuck inside the house while I'm at work, driving Mom nuts. He's so energetic, and Mom can't keep up with him. We can't just leave him outside because we can't let dogs run loose anymore. Might get hit by a truck, or the neighbors will call animal control and we'll get fined.


I have practically NO social life anymore. All I do is work and hang out with Kevin. Nothing wrong with hanging out with Kevin. It's just I wish I had more friends outside of work to go do things with. He gets to do his gaming stuff with Boojie and all of them, and I get to hear about that, but I don't do shit outside of working all the damn time. Makes me feel like nobody likes me.


Running into a rut with my own online gaming, especially with Starbright. Sort of regretting the whole storyline/angle I've got going with Rio, especially since they're looking to hook Jem back up with Riot. *GRRRRRRRRRR* I know, I shouldn't get so worked up over it. They're just characters, after all. But you get attached to whom you're playing, and you feel the same sort of emotions. So much I want to do with Rio, but just feeling stifled.

Feeling like a failure with my writing in general. Have so many ideas, but none of them translate to paper well. Getting very discouraged.

Always tired and exhausted. Semi-depressed. Feeling like there's a big void in my life. Just questioning a lot of things going for me right now. The tiniest things make me want to cry anymore, for no stupid reason. A couple of days ago, Andy was going on and on about how long I've been working at Strack's and he was all, "You should be so proud!" What, for working at Strack's a little over a year? I was at Blockbuster for about four years. Believe me, I'm NOT proud of this job. I'm grateful I have a job, but this is just a crappy paying job. This is nothing to be proud of. I can do much better than this.

Anger all around today. Angry at Dad for just being an asshole. Angry with my piece o' crap computer for not wanting to give me Internet access. (I'm on the computers at the library right now.) Angry with work for being on audit (as always). Angry at Hunter for hogging the high-speed Internet, and being allowed to take a blow-day off of school just so he can play Grand theft Auto 4 all frickin' day. Angry with library computer because they won't allow access to MySpace. Well, not exactly angry with the library over this because it's a wise idea, really. But what an inconvenience. The one time I wanted to use MySpace for something useful (to put a message out to all who have software for Windows XP, if I can borrow it so I can upgrade my operating system from Windows ME), and the library bans access to MySpace.

But yeah...work majorly pissing me off yet again. For one thing...this audit business is just a joke. I've said it time and time again, and last night, there was a problem with two of my checks. Not one, but two. And my drawer was over by $10. A was all, "You'll probably be on audit longer for this one." (*rolls eyes* Well, no shit, sherlock.) And then she tells me not to get all upset over it. I'm sorry, but I'm the one who's been cashiering for seven years, I haven't had any problems with my drawers at either Spencer's or Blockbuster (aside from the Danielle situation, but Sheri and I figured that one out), so why the hell am I all of a sudden having problems cashiering now, at this job?

Here's the other thing that's pissing me off about work. A week or so ago, there was a posting up in the breakroom for a meat-wrapper position. It pays pretty well, the hours look good, and it could lead up to full-time. I don't care if it's in the meat department. If I can get myself away from being up at the front end...where I am continually getting into trouble for stupid little things not even worth getting into trouble over, and being under pressure because I'm continually being put on audit...then I think I can deal with working in the meat department. Hell, Kevin worked in the meat department at WiseWay. M comes up to me and looks surprised that I expressed interest in the meat-wrapping position. She wanted to know why; I told her it was something different (I would've liked to have told her "So it gets me away from being a cashier and you putting me on audit all the damn time."). She then makes some comment about "That job must be gross, you'd have your hands in meat all the time, yeech." OH BIG EFFIN' DEAL, you think all women don't like that sort of thing?

She's weird like that. And if she calls me into her office to discipline me or make me sign anything, I'm not doing so until I have the Union rep present. (UPDATE: I've already left a message with him...waiting for a response), and I'd rather be bumped down to a UC or be considered for that position in the meat department.