hollybrooke | for those of you who need an explanation.....

Okay, let me take you back to last Saturday. I've been trying to renegotiate my car insurance payments with my providers, and they keep sending back the revised bill for my mother's car, delaying me getting mine in on time. I get my deductable raised to $1000 and I get dropped down to just liabililty, thinking it can save me some money. It saves me a whole whopping $35. My parents bitch at me because they think I waste money going to Rocky Horror every weekend in the first place. They believe that it's stupid to go to the same damn thing every weekend. They got pissed that I had to go to the mandatory rehearsal ("You see the same damn movie every weekend, you should have it down by now.") and be out late. And I quote my father word for word on this one, "I know you don't do drugs, and I know you don't sleep around, but if you want to parade around in nothing but your bra, then you could at least go to Deja Vu and get money for doing that sort of thing!" They have given me similar shit about this every weekend before I go out, but they really got mad about it this particular week, what with all of this car insurance stuff and the matter of me being able to afford it.

I had to call Shawn a little while back to tell him about my situation, and to tell him that I'm not trying to pull any shit, because I'm not. (Although other people think I am, and are getting pissed off about it for no real good reason other than they don't understand what I've been having to deal with in the last couple of weeks.) Amazingly, he let me tell him what was up and tried helping me come up with some sort of solution (although he couldn't do much for that--most of that, I am on my own with). The best thing I can do is this: I just tell my parents that I'm being bumped down to crew if the issue is me not being able to come every week, but I still show up on the nights that I have to perform. Basically, lying to my parents. Not like I've done this before, but I still need to find a full-time job just to appease them and support myself, which I'm working on. Sent off a dozen resumés on hotjobs. com earlier today (ask Booj--he looked with me), and I plan on hitting the streets next week in aggressive job-hunting fashion.

I just don't like it when my parents lay the line like that. It scares me shitless sometimes.

I think the best I can do is just what Shawn said: tell them I'm just in cast. And that I get paid gas money or something to help me out. And if the insurance is a problem, then maybe I can set up paying my mom at the first of the month to help out with the insurance. (Since I'm on full coverage, it's about $107 a month.) I figure I can give her $214 for the first two months and that way, I can still be working for money for the next payment, and I'm going to be getting a new job by then. And once I get that new job, I'm quitting Spencer's. I don't get enough hours there, I've been there 3 1/2 years, I'm underpaid and underemployed, and for as many times as I've asked for it I still receive no promotion (although I keep getting told I'm up for one in February, but fat chance on that).

But since I've been chatting with Amanda, Boojie and Rachel about it, you guys know what's up. You guys have at least been keeping up with me in the last week or so to see how that situation's been going. Thanks for your support. It means a lot. And even though he doesn't read my LJ...thank you, Dan. You are a true friend, and that's taking me a LOT to admit. All I want to do is smooth everything over so things work out somehow. If all goes well, I won't be able to show up this weekend, that's for damn sure, but since I have to be there next weekend anyway....well, keep your fingers crossed.

In other news, I got my W-2s from Spencer's and Indiana University (for the work I did on the paper). Right now, all I need are the W-2s from B&BW and WiseWay. Then I can get my taxes filed. Then I can fill out the FAFSA for this fall semster. Then hopefully I can get some form of financial assistance so I can go back to school and get it all over with. *oy!*

Oh, go check out Toxic Side Effects. This latest one was inspired by something I was watching on the soap operas with my mom while waiting at the insurance place today.