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[personal profile] hollybrooke
Well, hung out with Jonny last night. And nothing really happened, aside from us sitting around watching movies and making out a little. Stuff could have went down, but it didn't, mainly due to me thinking too much and thinking "I've been in this situation before, and I don't want it happening again, I'm practically losing a friend over it now and I regret it." I really do.

I hurt myself in this cycle, and I need to end it. So believe me when I say "no more friends with benefits, no more trying to hook up with someone the first time I meet them." Because I really need to make amends with those I've hurt.

After driving home from Michigan City/Laporte last night (damn, that's a long drive!), I stayed up a little later to do more thinking about it and once again, lost sleep in the process. (Driving on I-94 and I-65 in majorly snowy weather is enough to keep me up all night.) I think, at this point in my life where I'm trying to priorotize my needs and wants, a boyfriend isn't in the mix at all. I need to build some constructive relationships with others first before I can even think about that. Just because nearly everyone I know has someone right now doesn't mean I need that, even if Dan dangles the fact that he's getting married in September in my face. (And lately, I've been having some disturbing dreams about that whoe fact, that my ex-boyfriend is getting married, and I don't know why because it honestly shouldn't be bothering me.)

I perform tonight. I'll be running late because I'm working till close tonight (yeah, a full day, yuck). And I really really really want to play Trixie again on a week when I'm not playing Janet. I've got a cute idea for a Trixie performance.

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hollybrooke

April 2012

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