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[hollybrooke]

You know, this year I wonder if I should resolve to be a little more mean and not so nice all the time. I say this because I hate being such a meek little pushover. I went through my past regular journal entries of the last year and saw that...well, I need to develop more of a backbone and start actually making an attempt to get what I want. (That's partly the reason why I got that Bad Girl's Guide To Getting What You Want book that Jeri wants so badly.)

Another thing...okay, I know Christina hasn't really been to see Rocky much in the last few months (mainly because of school, I guess). But...okay, here's what it is, and I don't know if it's just me being paranoid or whatever, but I need to get this off of my chest. Both last weekend when I was playing Janet and this past weekend, I kind of got the feeling that whenever I was within distance of her, she would give me the evil eye. See, before this school semester, she and I would at least be nice to each other and chit-chat. She hasn't really dont anything like that now. I don't know if I did something to piss her off, or if she just doesn't like me now. If I did something to piss her off, I don't know what it is. And I know it's going to really bug me, but if she shows up this weekend it's not like I can ask her what it is because I won't even be there. (I have that stupid wedding.)

And that wedding...or just weddings in general...what is up with people and their sudden rush to get married all of a sudden?! Is it because of those reality TV sweetheart idiots Trista and Ryan (whom I'd love to beat with a stick) I just realized that not only do I have Casie's wedding this weekend, but I also have to pick up a wedding present for Paul and Hilary. I kind of feel bad that I'm not going to their wedding, but number one--why does it have to be so far away?! And number two...the whole Becky thing again. I don't have to ask, but yeah, I just know that Dan's going to bring Becky, and I will never be completely comfortable when it concerns the two of them, blah blah blah. If I had a date arranged beforehand to go with me (like a month in advance), I would probably be going, but what's the point? Dan's a jerk. Yes, I know I'm not dealing with it in a very mature way, but I shouldn't be forced to get along and be all buddy-buddy with my ex's girlfriend. (I think Dan believes it can happen with me only because Tina and I are buds. Sorry, but just because I can get along with the girlfriend of ONE of my ex-boyfriends doesn't mean I'm going to do this with all of them.) And I still think he's an even bigger jerk for claiming, "I'll never let a girl come between me and my friends." Well, looks like Becky has come between me and him, and he doesn't even realize it. So yeah, I've pretty much given up on whatever faith I have in him.

New Year's resolution: start speaking my mind more this year.

Comments

Yeah

[boojie-30.livejournal.com]

Well i can see where your coming from. I cant say much about people getting married i have 3 times now and they all ended badly.
But i honestly do not see you as a meek little pushover luv.
You look like a tough one to me.
But hey maybe you shouldbe a little more ruthless in getting what you want. Never hurts to try different approaches to things.
Luv ya Holly.

"Live life. Regret Nothing"