hollybrooke | figs and dates and grapes and cakes--HEY!

I gotta say something about it...."The Girls Next Door" season finale last night.

Sorry, but that was disappointing. Well, not entirely disappointing, but I'll explain why, and I'll put it under a cut for those of you who haven't seen it yet.

I think Hugh Hefner never really wants any of his girlfriends to leave him, to be completely honest. But let's be honest. I believe Kendra and Bridget knew they had a shelf life and when their time at the Playboy Mansion would be up. Bridget leaving to do her Travel Channel show was expected, and I'm even a teensy jealous that she gets to do this (but jealous in a good way!). It wasn't exactly a breakup with her and Hef, but we may see when that happens next season. (Holly, Bridget and Kendra will be seen next season here and there, but the next season will focus mainly on the new GFs.) When Kendra had her talk with Hef about how she was ready to leave....I couldn't tell if it was staged, or if those were genuine tears from Hef. But Kendra saying goodbye to Bryant and the rest of the mansion staff seemed very genuine, as I believe Kendra probably did make good friends with the staff.

I felt a lot of the first half hour was setting up for Kendra's new show. But what disappointed me was the treatment of Holly. She was never my favorite of the three, but come on. She tried pushing out some crocodile tears when Kendra broke the news of her moving out to her and Bridget. She had her perma-bitch face on at Moonshadows for Bridget's "bon voyage" party. Then she just up and leaves for Vegas for the weekend "for a Playmate photoshoot," which we all know is code for "sneaking out to get away from Hef and to bang Criss Angel." She gives Hef one of those phony European air-kiss things and is just out like that. Then Hef goes to talk to Mary about how sad he is that Kendra's moved out and Bridget's off doing her show overseas for about five months, and how Holly just left for Vegas ~~for mindfreak-y magician peen~~. NOW he's sensing that Holly hasn't been happy for the last couple of months, and how he felt giving her a position as a Playmate editor would compliment their relationship (Oh Hef, just be honest. You gave her that job so you could get her out of your hair with all that "I want to get married! I want a baby!" talk.), and how it's really just drove them apart. Then Mary goes on with this bit about "of all the girlfriends you've had, Holly's been the most perfect for you." Mary, the only reason Holly's been the "most perfect" is because she's molded herself to be that way.

But in the end, Holly got barely any screentime this episode. There's been speculation about this:

--It was the best way that E!/Kevin Burns could skirt around the Criss Angel thing.
--Holly didn't do a very good job getting along with the E! staff (which leads to more speculation as to why she didn't get a spinoff like Kendra did, or like how Bridget landed her Travel Channel gig).
--Hef didn't want to play any breakup scenes with Holly to deny her the screentime on purpose (because he doesn't want her to have the final word).

I think the real reason I'm disappointed is because before this season began, after the news about Holly and Hef ending their "relationship" came out, Kevin Burns made a statement about how this season would be like watching the diary of a breakup, and how you can tell by watching Holly's demeanor this season. Uh, no, that's not what I got. If we weren't privy to the breakup, we wouldn't have even known. Holly Madison has the best poker face ever (thanks to the plastic surgery and Botox); you can't decipher her emotions or tell what she's thinking. The only thing I noticed this season was that there wasn't as much of her classic eye-rolling and hair-twirling that she does when she's irritated or jealous. Oh, and her wearing the Criss Angel shit.

I do think that when Hef laid it down on the line and told her he wasn't interested in getting married again or having anymore kids, she threw herself into her "job" as Playmate editor figuring if she couldn't have his kid, she'd make her mark in the Playboy empire this way instead. But you know, now that Hef's not with her anymore, maybe he can have some fun-loving, non-sociopathic girlfriends that won't suffocate him.