motherFUCKER, it is cold outside!!!!!!

And so Mother Nature decides to say "FUCK YOU!" to the Chicagoland/Northwestern Indiana area with the usual blisteringly cold lake effect.

Times like this I wish I had the money and resources to move out west where the sun is shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are oh so fluffy!, where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long and anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel! Wacka wacka doo doo yeah!

I've just been ruminating over a lot of crap this whole weekend. This is never a good time of year for me, and it's been really amplified with the fact that my birthday's looming over my head and I'm already starting to feel old. I've got a lot of material for a major rantfest, but I don't have the time or the energy to get into it. Maybe later tonight when I get home from school. All I know is this:

--I need to be paid way more than what I get at Blockbuster. I'm reaching the three-year mark with them and I am no more happier than I was three or so years ago at Spencer's. I'm getting jerked around like nuts.

--I don't know why the hell I'm even going back to school and trying to finish up my degree when it seems like Mom just wants to keep me cloistered at home to take care of her every beck and call. You'd think she'd want me to do something with my life other than be her fucking servant. And if I'm helping take care of her, then she needs to realize that she needs to treat me with a little more respect than what I get. I need a life of my own, for crying out loud.

not only is it super cold...

It's super FUCKING cold.

I might just go home early. Kilibarda made today's lecture optional; everyone who wanted to leave after the in-class exercise (which was a breeze) could. I stayed for the lecture.

In the meantime, I do have posts at Starbright Cont. that need to be caught up on.

a long time coming

I was looking through some old LJ entried from 2003 till now, concerning all of the problems I had way back then. And it occured to me that some of the people who really stuck by my side through the last two years I don't give enough credit.

Yeah, mainly to Boojie. Thanks for the kind words and patience, man. *big hugs*

Also...and it's weird for me to admit to it, but especially after reading all of those posts, it has occured to me that my bustup with Zero was a long time coming, and had been building up for a while. I probably should've ended my friendship with him ages ago before letting it build up and get as bad as it did. I let him use me, I fell victim to his mindgames, and worst of all, I encouraged his behavior. I don't know how I fooled myself into thinking he was such a good friend when in reality, he really wasn't. I'm not blaming this all on him, but I can't believe I was just such a fool to keep denying it for as long as I did.

If he wants to keep continuing to blame me for pushing him away and all of that shit, let him. Maybe I did push him away, but I got tired of him treating me like crap. I don't regret one damn bit of it. I should've learned my lesson sooner.

Whatever. It'll all come to bite him in the ass someday.

Did I learn anything from all of this? Yes, I did. But it's in the form of a longer, more detailed response that I need to really think about.