![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hollybrookeFUCK. This is bad news. First Roy is forced to resign, then the Florida Disney animation department is set to close. FUCK YOU, MICHAEL EISNER!!!!!!!!!!! (As an animation buff, I'm extremely disappointed.)
You know, at first I had a decent night last night. But somehow after the show ended, I just got bummed out. I was in one of those contemplative moods, and I was just wondering, "Why the hell do I do this every weekend?" Sometimes I think that if more of my closer friends actually came and did this with me, I'd be a little happier. Honestly, in the last year that I've been going, I feel like I've made no really-really-good friends. Doing this every weekend gives me a bit of a social outlet, but I stil feel very much like an outsider. I frequently have feelings like this, though. I've always been like that. Maybe I'm cursed or something, that I can never have a really good companionship with anyone. So yeah...I don't know who my real friends are. I've been in a weird state of mind this whole week trying to figure out who my real friends are and who they aren't. I've been tempted to call random people in my black book to just chat, but I live in fear of the phone and usually, people are too busy to talk or they're not even home, and when I leave a message, my calls go unreturned. This is also why I hate living in Lowell. I live in the middle of fucking nowhere. No one ever wants to come visit (with a family like mine, I don't blame them, though) and no one ever wants to invite me to do stuff with them. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.
And for the record, I was NOT intentionally being "pissy" last night. I drew upon Becky and her snotty sister for my Janet performance (kind of my way of making fun of them). I won't name names, but SOMEone told me to quit being pissy, I don't know if he meant it as a joke or not, but I took it the wrong way if it was indeed a joke. And then he kept it up, which in turn really DID make me pissed off.
Maybe I'll be out of my bad mood by the end of the day. Who knows? But with most people, who cares? With most people, it's "Let's piss off Holly some more just so we can get a rise out of her."
You know, at first I had a decent night last night. But somehow after the show ended, I just got bummed out. I was in one of those contemplative moods, and I was just wondering, "Why the hell do I do this every weekend?" Sometimes I think that if more of my closer friends actually came and did this with me, I'd be a little happier. Honestly, in the last year that I've been going, I feel like I've made no really-really-good friends. Doing this every weekend gives me a bit of a social outlet, but I stil feel very much like an outsider. I frequently have feelings like this, though. I've always been like that. Maybe I'm cursed or something, that I can never have a really good companionship with anyone. So yeah...I don't know who my real friends are. I've been in a weird state of mind this whole week trying to figure out who my real friends are and who they aren't. I've been tempted to call random people in my black book to just chat, but I live in fear of the phone and usually, people are too busy to talk or they're not even home, and when I leave a message, my calls go unreturned. This is also why I hate living in Lowell. I live in the middle of fucking nowhere. No one ever wants to come visit (with a family like mine, I don't blame them, though) and no one ever wants to invite me to do stuff with them. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.
And for the record, I was NOT intentionally being "pissy" last night. I drew upon Becky and her snotty sister for my Janet performance (kind of my way of making fun of them). I won't name names, but SOMEone told me to quit being pissy, I don't know if he meant it as a joke or not, but I took it the wrong way if it was indeed a joke. And then he kept it up, which in turn really DID make me pissed off.
Maybe I'll be out of my bad mood by the end of the day. Who knows? But with most people, who cares? With most people, it's "Let's piss off Holly some more just so we can get a rise out of her."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Sweety
Date: 2004-01-11 12:03 pm (UTC)I meant what i said when i said i u are my friend and i love you asmy friend.
I went through the last ten months feeling like i ahd no friends and no one loved me. I am just now learning otherwise thanx to many
You were one of those people that helped me realize holly.
*hugs*
As always i am here if you need an ear. you know my cell number and if you dont you have acast phone list
luv ya hun
HEY HEY HEY
BYe BYe i hope you r ok see u next week i also sometimes wonder why i do rocky at all and i feel this way right now and for the past few months. see ya
Amanda ann the confused virgin fucking mary