I don't really like to talk about my love life on here, but stuff needs to be said.

Okay. As we all know, I've been struggling to lose some weight for quite a while and I've been unsuccessful at it. I'm not comfortable with my waist. It's gotten flabby.

Kevin likes to cuddle. I don't. Why do I not like to cuddle? First of all, I'm not a very touchy-feely person. Second of all, it involves him holding on to my waist.

MY FLABBY WAIST. It makes me feel fat. I wish he would not do this. I think he would kind of "get" this by now.

Another thing, and this is not limited to just Kevin. I don't like it when anyone sneaks up on me or tries to jump out and surprise me. This is primarily why I don't like going into carnival "haunted houses," and I had a bad experience when Dad tried to do this to me when I was younger. I've told Kevin about this. And yet, I don't know why he does it, but he still likes to sneak up behind me and grab me around my FLABBY WAIST. And he gets annoyed that I'm so jumpy when he sneaks up behind me. I've told him I don't like it when anyone sneaks up behind me. We've been together three years! Why does he still do this?!

It's not like I'm trying to reject his advances on purpose. I'm JUST NOT COMFORTABLE with stuff like that. I think I'm going to have a talk with him about this stuff. I know he's doing the boyfriend-ly thing, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.

(Please don't take this post too seriously, because a lot of it is me being my snark-tastic self, but I do have a point with this.)

Remember when Jessica Simpson looked like this?:



Well, not anymore!



Girl got chubby. And I haven't been able to stop gawking at this for the last couple of days. It also doesn't help that her legs look like stuffed sausages in those unflattering high-waisted pants with two belts that emphasize how chubby she's gotten, plus a tank top with practically no support. Who the hell let her perform looking like this? If I may quote Sandy Griffin from a "Daria" episode, she looks "uncharacteristically sloppy."

Why do I care if Jessica Simpson has gained weight? I mean, I'm not a fan of hers. If Jessica is happy with her...ahem, "new curves," fine then. But someone mentioned this on ONTD, and I have to agree with them, I hate it when women gain weight, it's referred to as being "curvy" when it's just obvious that you've gotten fat, and it's assumed that the weight gain is a "healthy" thing. We live in a country where it's okay to be overweight, even though it's detrimental to our overall health. Our levels of heart disease and diabetes are at record highs, as is our obesity rate. I believe our life expectancy has fallen in the last few years, and it hasn't done that in a long time.

Yes, being bombarded with female celebrities who have unrealistic body images for us to look at as an example isn't good. But I'd rather have female celebrities who are in shape and actively work out and eat right to maintain their body shape as a role model instead of a fatty who just says, "Ah, screw it, let's go eat cake and sit on our butts!"

We don't emphasize a healthy lifestyle with exercise like we used to. We were all about it in the 70s and 80s. What happened?! I remember toys like these being advertised to my demographic when I was a kid back in the good old days:





(Of course, if you were to air a commercial like the "Get In Shape Girl" one today, you'd catch so much flack because there are pedo-bears out there who get off to little girls in tight clothes.) ( Read more... )

You ain't fat, man! You ain't nothin'! YOU AIN'T NOTHIN'!!


edited: I freaking miss ONTD. I hope it gets fixed soon. Boooooooooooo.

(...Originally posted as of May 22nd on my MySpace blog, but copied and pasted and added on May 25th...)

As of last weigh-in, I was 153 lbs. This week, I hopped on the scale to see myself at 150 lbs.

Yeah, not a big drop in weight in the last two weeks. I kind of slipped up along the line with the "watching what I eat" thing, and the "exercising" thing. I slacked off with the exercising, and I really need to pick it back up.

With Turbo Jam, they give you a 2-disc set with:
--Learn and Burn (a short 10-minute run-through of the basic moves)
--a 20-minute workout
--Turbo Sculpt (more for muscle tone)
--Cardio Party Mix 1, which is 45-minutes long
--Ab Jam (focuses on the abdominals, derr). It's not bad because you stand for a lot of the ab workout and are on the floor for maybe seven or eight minutes doing modified crunches.

Plus, they included a crapload of other DVDs, such as Cardio Party Mix 2 and Mix 3, Booty Blast, Fat Blast, and a few others in case you get bored and want to concentrate on other problem areas. You also get the Turbo Jam weighted gloves, "to intensify your workout and help burn more calories," and some resistance bands. It's been proving very hard for me to finish the 45-minute aerobic workout. I can do the 20-minute with no problem, but halfway through the 45-minute one, I'm having difficulty catching my breath and keeping my balance. It's reminding me a lot of back in high school gym class. But then again, I had troubles keeping up in gym class because of my lung-and-a-half. I keep telling myself I have to get used to it and I'll be able to nail it with enough practice. By the end of high school gym, I was able to finish the timed mile-run in under six minutes with enough conditioning (thanks, Ms. Butts!), and I never thought I'd be able to do that EVER.

*tangent* It's been a while since I've been able to sit down at a computer and blog. Er, update my MySpace, mainly because the public library computers have a ban on MySpace. But right now...I'm sitting in front of the old computer, taking advantage of the high-speed Internet in Hunter's black hole of a bedroom. *EEEEK*

*tangent* Trying to get my stuff together to get scheduled for another semester of wonderful, wonderful schoooool in the fall. Went to the Midnight Madness showing of Rocky Horror with Kevin, Fester, Boojie and Max last Saturday. Aaaaaand....Ed hinted something to us about it last week, but on MySpace this week, it's been confirmed. The Art Theater in Hobart has agreed to let us bring back Rocky Horror. CAN I GET A "WHOOP-WHOOP"?! *ha ha*

Hearing this news, I'm happy...and sad, and annoyed, at the same time. ( Read more... )

I just don't know.

I don't know if this is because I've been rather aware of them more so lately, but I've come to a conclusion.

I have big boobs. I am lucky I have 'bigguns,' and at least I don't have to pay an outlandish amount of money for a boob job. So I'm going to quit wishing they were smaller and I'm going to embrace my big boobed-ness. Because most guys like women with boobs. I know when the weight goes down, so does the boob size, so I'll really have to watch it.


(BTW, I lost four pounds this period. I'm amazed.)

I just want to have big boobs and a tiny ass/waist. That's all I ask. *le sigh*

It's beautiful outside today, and I just feel so sluggish. And it doesn't help that I've eaten nothing but absolute crap this weekend.

Hunter's starting a hard-core diet tomorrow. He wants to lose the last of his "baby fat" and And you know, that's a good thing because now there won't be so many offenders stocked in the house.

But you know...a lot of it is my fault. I ate an entire medium pepperoni pizza within two days at work. Plus breadsticks. Then Mom told me to order her a hamboli from Pizza Palace in Cedar Lake. I tell myself, "DON'T EAT THAT SHIT, IT WILL JUST STAY IN YOUR GUT AND MAKE YOU FAT!" and I can't help it. Earlier today, I stopped by McDonald's for breakfast, only because I knew we didn't have shit to eat at home, and Mom had no plans to go grocery shopping, and whenever she does go, she only gets shit SHE likes to eat. She doesn't care what Dad or Hunter or I want. It's white bread and butter and ham and cheap soda and deep fried whatever and sugar, sugar, sugar for her. And she bitches that she can't fit into a size six anymore.

This is why I buy a lot of my own groceries anymore and refuse to go shopping with her.

But I had a relapse this week and just needed pizza. And I fell off the wagon. Ugh.

I really need to go downstairs and do a mile or two on the treadmill.