"I'm not fat! I'm a size six!...Now find me a size six that FITS!"

[hollybrooke]

(Please don't take this post too seriously, because a lot of it is me being my snark-tastic self, but I do have a point with this.)

Remember when Jessica Simpson looked like this?:



Well, not anymore!



Girl got chubby. And I haven't been able to stop gawking at this for the last couple of days. It also doesn't help that her legs look like stuffed sausages in those unflattering high-waisted pants with two belts that emphasize how chubby she's gotten, plus a tank top with practically no support. Who the hell let her perform looking like this? If I may quote Sandy Griffin from a "Daria" episode, she looks "uncharacteristically sloppy."

Why do I care if Jessica Simpson has gained weight? I mean, I'm not a fan of hers. If Jessica is happy with her...ahem, "new curves," fine then. But someone mentioned this on ONTD, and I have to agree with them, I hate it when women gain weight, it's referred to as being "curvy" when it's just obvious that you've gotten fat, and it's assumed that the weight gain is a "healthy" thing. We live in a country where it's okay to be overweight, even though it's detrimental to our overall health. Our levels of heart disease and diabetes are at record highs, as is our obesity rate. I believe our life expectancy has fallen in the last few years, and it hasn't done that in a long time.

Yes, being bombarded with female celebrities who have unrealistic body images for us to look at as an example isn't good. But I'd rather have female celebrities who are in shape and actively work out and eat right to maintain their body shape as a role model instead of a fatty who just says, "Ah, screw it, let's go eat cake and sit on our butts!"

We don't emphasize a healthy lifestyle with exercise like we used to. We were all about it in the 70s and 80s. What happened?! I remember toys like these being advertised to my demographic when I was a kid back in the good old days:

(Of course, if you were to air a commercial like the "Get In Shape Girl" one today, you'd catch so much flack because there are pedo-bears out there who get off to little girls in tight clothes.)

I can hear it now..."So you think it's okay for girls to exercise to strive to look pretty?" No, I think it's okay for girls (and all kids, in general) to exercise because they should learn how to take care of themselves. Gym classes and recesses are being eliminated in public schools; how the hell else are kids going to get any kind of physical activity? You parents think it's okay to just let your kids sit their butts in front of the XBox 360/PS3? At least Nintendo's on the right track with Wii-Fit.

Back to fatty-fat Jessica Simpson....YEAH, I CALLED HER A FATTY-FAT. Big whoop, wanna fight?



So Ashlee jumps to her big sister's defense about how "evil" everyone is for bashing her for her weight gain. This coming from someone who had to alter HER appearance to be "cuter."



We forget that Jessica has made her living based off of her looks. Not based off of her "amazing" singing career (Britney and Christina pwned her on that one), or off her "sparkling personality" ("To be my man, you have to put up with a lot. I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABC’s.") or her intelligence ("Chicken of the Sea...is this chicken or is it fish?")...HER LOOKS. When she got in shape to be in the craptacular Dukes of Hazzard movie, she was running around here and there, showing off her hot body to anyone who cared to look. And let's not forget what her proud daddy said about "you can't cover up her double Ds!" So in about six months from now, after Tony Romo dumps her stinky fat ass for a new skinny blonde with big tits and after she's lost 40 pounds and chatting up every media outlet who cares to give her any attention for "losing her cheating man and the weight"....it won't matter because Britney Spears will STILL be pwning her ass.




Britney Spears: Because everyone loves a good comeback.

When Jessica starts looking like this...



...then oh well.

You ain't fat, man! You ain't nothin'! YOU AIN'T NOTHIN'!!


edited: I freaking miss ONTD. I hope it gets fixed soon. Boooooooooooo.

Comments

[curlyhare1.livejournal.com]

but shes nto FAT, shes just heavier than she was before.
she is still within, or very close to, the healthy weight limit.

[therealycats.livejournal.com]

See, I really can't make a judgment on Jessica's weight until I see her in something that doesn't look like THAT. Those jeans would make anyone look fat. Honestly I'm more concerned by the jeans than by her weight. Who told her she looked good in that? WHO HATES HER THAT MUCH?

I did snicker when I read Ashlee's comments.

[boobie-tassels.livejournal.com]

Well I hope she gets really fat and ugly. It's a personal thing going back to when we were... oh about 14 years old. 15 years later and I STILL HATE HER FOR IT!

[jadore-histoire.livejournal.com]

Ashlee Simpson should NEVER jump in and say "My sister's fine the way she is!" because she's the one who got a nose job and named her baby BRONX MOWGLI. Remember all that flack she took for being on the cover of Marie Claire when they did their "Natural Beauty/Be Proud of Who You Are" issue?

I hate both of them. And yeah, Jessica got fat, and it doesn't help that she's wearing such unflattering clothes. High-waisted pants should have remained dead and buried in the 70s. It gives everyone FUPAs, especially if you're heavier. And yes, what is it with female celebrities shunning bras? Lindsay Lohan, I'm looking at you. What am I saying, I don't like Lindsay either.

I'm incredibly overweight, and I don't celebrate it as "curvy." I don't celebrate it, I'm dieting because I don't like being this heavy, it's unhealthy. It's beyond curves, and the same can be said for Jessica. Curvy is Kate Winslet. This isn't.

[promisemewings.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I also seem to remember Ass-lee posing for Shape magazine talking about her fitness routine and her diet before it was made public that she was pregnant. She's such a twat.

[jadore-histoire.livejournal.com]

She deliberately acts coy about shit, thinking it'll get her attention, then when it doesn't, she just comes out with it. See: Denying her nose job (then reveling in it), and denying her pregnancy, then talking about it when her album bombed. I don't know who I can't stand more - her, or her stupid sister.

[promisemewings.livejournal.com]

Both of the Simpson sisters need to drop off the face of the entertainment industry. No one cares about either one of them.

[jadore-histoire.livejournal.com]

The only one who does is their creepy dad. And yeah, neither of them do anything significant, their albums keep bringing in poor sales. Jessica made the biggest mistake of her life when she and Nick split up, because at least with him, they were a commodity.