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okay, here's how it is
Jan. 26th, 2005 12:23 pmMy life is in a rut. It has been in a rut for the last four years, to be completely honest. It's been in a rut creatively, socially, financially, love- and career-wise.
Financially, I am nearly out of my rut. I've been working my ass off and it's yielding pretty good results, other than the fact that I have no life outside of my job (unless you call Rocky Horror a life, which it isn't much of one anymore for me, sorry to say). Creatively, I can't get stimulated. I had a good start going, and then--writer's block. (Cue up the Gwen Stefani video where I fall into a rabbit hole, wear five-inch-high stiletto platforms singin' "Whatchoo waitin' fooooor?!") Love-wise? HA. My love life is a cosmic joke. I get hit on by creeps, and there are a TON of losers around the area. (I'm picky, every woman reserves the right to be picky, so sue me. And this excluded people like Jonny, who I really need to hang out with more often.) That's the only thing that can sum that up. And I can't work at Blockbuster for the rest of my life. It's sweet for now, but I want more. I want more than to just make do with the crap that the midwest offers me.
Time for things to seriously change. I keep saying that, but this time it's true. I'm halfway there raising money for my film school application fee. I'm working on three different writing projects at the same time (and to be honest, going nowhere with them, but working on them nonetheless with hope to totally edit them when they're done).
I've also been contemplating quitting cast. There's the part of me that wants to stick around with Rocky and the Pink Invaders for whatever time we have left, and like I said--I'm not a quitter (like a certain fomer Janet who will remain nameless), but I'm going to completely honest...it's been rough for me to get myself at 100% to perform when I have to these last few months, especially if I'm running myself ragged rushing to the theater after work. I'm physically and mentally exhausted 75% of the time, amd I'd really rather just go home after work on those nights I have to perform. I just need a really good reason to stick with it for the remaining amount of time we have left at the theater.
My family life is a joke, too. I don't get taken seriously by ANYONE in my family. My mom treats me like shit, like I'm her little slave daughter who will NEVER leave home. Hunter is a food-consuming brat who doesn't like to do a goddamned thing for himself. And Dad is never home anymore, but who really wants him at home anymore? He's a dickhead whenever he comes home.
I.
Need.
Out.
Financially, I am nearly out of my rut. I've been working my ass off and it's yielding pretty good results, other than the fact that I have no life outside of my job (unless you call Rocky Horror a life, which it isn't much of one anymore for me, sorry to say). Creatively, I can't get stimulated. I had a good start going, and then--writer's block. (Cue up the Gwen Stefani video where I fall into a rabbit hole, wear five-inch-high stiletto platforms singin' "Whatchoo waitin' fooooor?!") Love-wise? HA. My love life is a cosmic joke. I get hit on by creeps, and there are a TON of losers around the area. (I'm picky, every woman reserves the right to be picky, so sue me. And this excluded people like Jonny, who I really need to hang out with more often.) That's the only thing that can sum that up. And I can't work at Blockbuster for the rest of my life. It's sweet for now, but I want more. I want more than to just make do with the crap that the midwest offers me.
Time for things to seriously change. I keep saying that, but this time it's true. I'm halfway there raising money for my film school application fee. I'm working on three different writing projects at the same time (and to be honest, going nowhere with them, but working on them nonetheless with hope to totally edit them when they're done).
I've also been contemplating quitting cast. There's the part of me that wants to stick around with Rocky and the Pink Invaders for whatever time we have left, and like I said--I'm not a quitter (like a certain fomer Janet who will remain nameless), but I'm going to completely honest...it's been rough for me to get myself at 100% to perform when I have to these last few months, especially if I'm running myself ragged rushing to the theater after work. I'm physically and mentally exhausted 75% of the time, amd I'd really rather just go home after work on those nights I have to perform. I just need a really good reason to stick with it for the remaining amount of time we have left at the theater.
My family life is a joke, too. I don't get taken seriously by ANYONE in my family. My mom treats me like shit, like I'm her little slave daughter who will NEVER leave home. Hunter is a food-consuming brat who doesn't like to do a goddamned thing for himself. And Dad is never home anymore, but who really wants him at home anymore? He's a dickhead whenever he comes home.
I.
Need.
Out.
