Jan. 3rd, 2005

hollybrooke: (Default)
Good thing I'm at home and still somewhat coherent.

Yeah, I'm making up for not going out New Year's and having fun. Know wht? Because I'm a fucking loser with no fucking life, that's why. Probably all of my ohther friends were out getting shitfaced and/or h aving sex with their significant others.

No, as anyone who regularly reads this LJ knows, I had a shitty holiday season. I was sick with the flu, I got $70 in gas cards and a CD for Christmas (even though the thought should have been what mattered, it sure didn't amount to much...yeah, I know I didnt aks for much, but come on!), and I had to work closing on NEw Year's Eve and opening on new Year's Day. That's all I do, that's all I am, the "responsible one." The one everyone runs to when everything falls apart, but when it comes to anythign I want, fuck no! The person everyone can count on. I'm tierd of this shit. I have nothing to show for my "responsibleness." (IS that even a word?) And then I have others take advantage of how quiet and mildmannerd I am, and once agan, I get fucked over, so I can't tryst anybody either.

I'm drunk, PMSing, and pissed off at the world.

Like anyone really cares about how I feel. Everyone's so self-absorbed with what's going on for them. I ry to be there for others, and no one's ever there for me.

Feeling pretty alone and vulernable. ::gives teh world the middle finger:: I never ever compalin and now I'm fucking complaining. IU have the right to, I'm a fucking American. We complain about shit all the goddsamned time. It's the American way.

Work sucked. Everything sucks anymore. Shitty night. The only good thing is that I'm getting a fat-ass paycheck out of it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some beer left to finnish. Then I'm going into my room to scream into my pillow and watch the rest of Harold and Kumar Go to White CAstle.

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hollybrooke

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