great...just great

This is not good.

While Mom and I were out running errands, Hunter said we got at least three calls from Aunt Ruth, so it was obviously important. So we call her back. Turns out J.R. (my cousin) had to be admitted to the hospital again (he has cystic fibrosis, so this is kind of regular for him) and the doctors say that it doesn't look like he won't be getting out this time. He's taken a turn for the worst, apparently. So we're just sitting around by the telephone and waiting for any word. If worse comes to worst (and it probably will), we will have to take a trip to Alabama to be there for the family and for the funeral. There's no questioning it--we'll HAVE to. There aren't that many surviving members on my dad's side of the family. MY grandfather died of prostate cancer, both of my little cousins (Amber and Angela) have died (Angela had spinal meningitis and died when she was 9 months old), my Aunt Pam died with my cousin Amber in a very unexplainable freak car accident, and my Uncle Ken died of a drug-induced heart attack. All that's left besides J.R. are us (me, my brother, my dad and my grandma).

So, Rachel...if that happens and we have to leave before this Saturday (since today is Wednesday), I'd really really reeeeally appreciate it if you could fill in for me this weekend if I need you to. I'll let you know if we'll have to make the trip down south.

I'd be more upset about it if my cousin hadn't been such a spiteful dickhead. He had really better not be crying wolf this time. I don't want to make a trip down south and waste a bunch of time over this. Yes, I know I'm being kind of cold-hearted about this, but he's had our panties in a bunch over shit like this before. And he almost ALWAYS does this right around the holidays, too.

Pray for J.R., friends.

great...just great pt. 2

I went to go see Walking Tall with Chris tonight, but before he showed up, my TV took a crap on me. I haven't had DirecTV in my room for a week, and my TV of all things takes a crap on me. I'm really fuckin' pissed. We all know what my next paycheck will be going towards.

Aaaaaand...J.R. passed away around seven this evening. Cause of death: his body rejected his lung transplants. So yeah, looks like I'm going to be going to Alabama this weekend. Fun, fun, fun. Tomorrow I'm going to have to call Shawn and let him know I can't perform this weekend, and I'll have to call Sheri at Blockbuster and explain to her what happened. And I hope Rachel's reading this, because I need her to fill in for me Saturday night.

He was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when he was about two, I believe. And his whole life, he was told he would only have three more years to live. I'm really amazed he made it to 23. Actually, if he would have held out a few more weeks, he would have turned 24 on May 3rd.

I'm not looking forward to the funeral. My relatives can get quite annoying. This is all the folks on my dad's side of the family, especially the ones at Casie's wedding at the beginning of the year. Woohoo, fun. See, I would probably be more broken up about J.R. if he weren't such a goddamned prick while he was alive. That, and there are other family matters involved in there that I really don't want to unload right now. So I'm going to bring plenty of reading material. Too bad my WalkMan died on me last year--I could really use it. Ah well, I'll be down in Alabama, so I can start working on my tan. And maybe I can get my hair blonded up a bit.

Isn't this sad? One of my relatives dies, and I'm just acting so blasé about it. I guess you'd have to see things through my point of view. But I'm not going to go into detail about it. All I have to say is, we're born, we live a little while, and we die. That's what we call life. Everyone dies.
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No! You know what? I'm editing this mo-fo! Rant time! I know I'm probably going to be the one with the most attitude and mixed feelings on this at the damned funeral, but I don't really give a shit. Let me tell you something. He was sick his whole life and he had everyone kiss his ass and cater to his every whim because of his illness. People bent over backwards for JR and he was just such an inconsiderate prick about it. We took him in to live with us when his mother and sister died, and he just took advantage of us while he could. Oh no, Grandma Cozie and Uncle Ken couldn't be bothered to take him in after Aunt Pam and Amber died. They just couldn't deal with the fact that Aunt Pam was dead, so they took off for Florida because they couldn't deal with their problems and dumped JR--and those Rottweilers--onto us. And yeah, I know, "Well, he was sick, there's not much he could do for himself." BULLSHIT. I know other people with cystic fibrosis who were just as bad off as he was and they still made it to public school and make something of their lives. Seize the day, yo. Love life. Don't fucking piss it away just because you have a terminal illness. He was probably the healthiest he ever was when he was with us because we made him have a life. We made him go to school and eat right and take care of himself. Then he goes and lives with his other grandparents, who don't give two shits about him, and then Grandma Cozie takes him in and just lets him walk all over her and take advantage of her, but it doesn't matter. She would bend over backwards and let him be an asshole and call her a CUNT for no good reason. But you know, I could have died in a car accident today and she wouldn't give a shit about me. Hunter could have died in some tragic form today and she wouldn't have given a shit about it. It's all very Shakespearean, in my opinion. So I just say, "Big deal. JR died. For the last twenty years, we've seen it coming, we knew it was going to happen, oh boo-hoo, let's all cry big ol' crocodile tears for him even though he just walked over each and every one of us."

It's all bullshit. I wish I could muster up a little more sympathy for him, but it's difficult to when he and his condition have taken top billing over me and my brother.

It's shit like this that really makes me proud to be a Helms. < /sarcasm >