hollybrooke: (American Dad)
I suppose it wouldn't be today if I didn't make some sort of entry about what I was doing ten years ago when everything happened. I think I've made an entry about it. As a matter of fact, I think I've also made an entry about what it felt like to be there a few years after the attack, too. So I'm not going to beat a dead horse and just rehash what I already posted.

Ten years later, and I figure I should post my feelings about how I feel now about it all.

I am disgusted with our country. I really am. And let me tell you why. Every day I drive down my road to work, I have to pass by that Kortech place that I assume rents out caterpillars and other heavy machinery, but you wouldn't really know it with all the anti-Obama/anti-Democratic party rhetoric they feel the need to put on their advertising marquee. I can't stand that. It's not just because I particularly feel insulted and offended by it being that I'm a Democrat myself. It's because it's so hate-filled and it's not what we need to be doing as a country. It separates us even more than we already are. Whatever happened to "united as one"? Whatever happened to "one nation (under God) indivisible"?

In the last four or five years alone, we've had dealt with some major economic problems here in America, and everyone just wants to point the finger at President Obama. Everyone wants to blame the president for all of their problems. Jobs, the weather, banks, credit, healthcare, blah blah blah. Before Barrack Obama was elected into office, everyone was blaming George W. Bush for everything that had gone to pot with the country. And while I may have my own personal opinions about President Bush (he had a decent first term given he was the one in charge when a major national crisis happened, but his advisers failed him in his second term, and let's not forget how he handled Hurricane Katrina), he had everyone blaming him for all of the problems that happened in his wake. This is why I would never want to be President of the United States; it's just a position of major responsibility that I would never want to have just for people to eventually hate me and blame me for everything under the sun.

It's easy to point the finger and play the blame game out of sheer anger and frustration. No one wants to sit down and actually think about what causes what. The economy took a hit because of the domino effect that 9/11 had on us, and the country has never fully recovered. President Obama occasionally gets on TV for State of the Union addresses and says that the recovery process WILL NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT. You have to WORK for it, and nobody wants to seem to do that. We Americans have grown rather entitled and just want things handed to us on a silver platter for nothing. We want to bitch and moan and point the finger and wallow in their own self-pity, and complain, complain, complain.

And I'm tired of hearing people whine and complain about everything under the sun. I try not to complain about things that are within my control, and I think more people need to take my stance. You think the job situation is terrible? Do something about it. Work on your resumé. Go take a college class or a workshop to learn something to make yourself an asset. Learn to navigate the Internet so you can do your job searching there. You think the economy is terrible? Do something about it. Don't waste your money. Make sacrifices. Don't go to Starbucks every day. Wear your winter coat from last year. Clip coupons to make ends meet. You may have to tighten your belt and live within your means, but you can do something about it. We did something about it during the 30s in the Great Depression. It took a while, and we had to go through a World War in the process, but we came out ahead. WE'VE DONE IT BEFORE. WE CAN DO IT AGAIN. What was it John F. Kennedy said?..."Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."

I think the United States of America has been on a pity and shame spiral since the events of September 11, 2011 happened. And I think we need to break this cycle and get out of it. It's terrible what happened, and people who actually lost someone in the World Trade Center or at the Pentagon or on any of those planes are the only ones who are truly allowed to grieve. But as for the rest of us? We can have our moment of silence, then it's time to move on. We can't wallow in the shadows of the past forever.

I'm glad I don't have to work today. I don't think I could put up with some bleeding heart customer asking me, "How will you remember what happened today? What will you be doing?" I'll tell you what. I'll be doing some cleaning around the house. Then later on today, my boyfriend and I will get together so he can have his birthday present and we may go get him a celebratory birthday dinner and drink. Yep, you heard that right. I'm going to work and have fun today. I don't want to have to dwell on the past. It's time to move on. I don't want to sound callous and cold and insensitive about it, but seriously? It's time to move on. "This, too, shall pass."
hollybrooke: (Elle Woods Attorney At Law)
If you've been following it like I have, and if you're watching right now on TruTV, they've just ruled that she is indeed competent enough to stand trial. Mom and I were having a discussion about this, about whether she truly may have a mental problem and could legally be declared insane, or if she's just smart and crafty enough to pull the "crazy" card.

Mom and I both agree with the latter. And I think the court wanted to make this judgment because I truly think that the court will make her testify. I mean, we all know she's a proven liar. But if they get her on the stand and make her tell the story in her own words, the prosecution will be able to find all of the holes in her stories and nail her on all her lies to corner her into confessing. It's like at the end of Legally Blonde when Chutney takes the stand and Elle nails her with the little detail of "why would you take a shower immediately after getting your hair permed, especially if you've had 30 perms in your life?" It's little shit like that that will get you into trouble.

I still stand by my shovel theory. If George were responsible for covering up Caylee's death, why would he make Casey go to the neighbor's house to borrow a shovel? Especially if George could just open up their own shed with his keys and get one of their four shovels out himself? There was just something fishy about this detail and it still bothers me.

I don't think Casey's really crazy. I think she's smart and crafty like a fox. She had the whole family and all of her friends fooled with all of her lies. She even bragged to one of her friends about how she was such a damn good liar. I honestly think the court will make her take the stand.

And I love how the court will be sanctioning José Baez when the trial ends, regardless of the outcome. All I can say about this is "....this bitch, HA."
hollybrooke: (Elle Woods Attorney At Law)
I've been following the Casey Anthony trial pretty much my entire vacation time, and I just want to say this:

If George Anthony were truly in on covering up his own granddaughter's "tragic accidental drowning death," why would Casey have to go borrow a shovel from their neighbors? If the Anthonys had four shovels in their shed, don't you think George would've had a pair of keys on him and just opened up the shed himself? Why would Casey have to borrow a shovel from her neighbor if her dad was the one trying to cover it up?!

It's so obvious that she killed her own daughter. I'm not buying this "I was sexually abused by my dad and trained to cover it up" bullshit that José Baez is spinning as the defense theory. She's already been proven to be a liar; I wouldn't put it past Casey to lie to her own attorney. I think José Baez is grasping at straws for his defense, and he's coming off like Lionel Hutz on "The Simpsons."

It all makes me so irate. I almost don't want to watch anymore of the trial on TruTV and HLN. (Good thing I go back to work tomorrow.)

I'm with the prosecution on this. I'm of the belief that she knocked out Caylee with too much chloroform just so she could go out and party, might have accidentally killed her that way. Or she might have done it on purpose (the duct tape around Caylee's mouth shows that she was still alive when it was put on her) to spite her parents for paying more attention to Caylee than to her. And you know....how can you lie like that? To your parents? To the police? About your job? About your whereabouts? About your child's whereabouts? Sending cops on a wild goose chase, wasting their time and taxpayers' money? And she just sits there in the courtroom with a stone expression on her face, trying to push a tear out while her poor mother is having a hysterical breakdown over seeing Caylee's bed and toys. AAARGH.
hollybrooke: (Evil Homer)
Atheists ad campaigns stir the pot during holiday season

Okay, I'm not going to lie about it. I've had my doubts about religion and Christianity. I haven't actively went to church in a long time. The last time I went to church was for Kevin's dad's funeral, and the only other time before that was when Hunter got baptized. I've done my fair share of reading about the creationism vs. evolution. It's just so scary to think that there may not be a God, and all of the time we spend praying and believing in something that may not even exist could be all for nothing. What then? It's like when you're a kid and you're told that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

I don't even really know where I'm going with this. I want to believe in God, and heaven and hell, and that Jesus died for my sins. But I just have a very hard time taking that leap of faith if it can't be proven. You can prove something more tangible like the theory of evolution with science. I think it's why I'm having such a hard time with this holiday season in particular. I've been questioning a lot of my own beliefs, and trying to form my own opinion instead of just going with what everyone tells me to believe. And I have a hard time telling anyone this because I don't want to be bombarded with a bunch of religious propaganda from the Bible thumpers. (I work in a very conservative, right-wing town. Hell, there's a freaking shrine of the passion right down the road that I pass by every day going to and from work.)

....I just don't know.
hollybrooke: (Gaga 1 2 3)
Okay, my review for "Alejandro."

After watching this video about four times today, I still have a hard time with this one. It's not my favorite of Gaga's videos, I'm not nuts about it, but I don't dislike it. It's kind of obscure and overly-dramatic, and I'm still scratching my head over the actual plot. However, from an artistic perspective, it was very well done.

Pros: good dancing, good cinematography, good artistic design, good choreography.
Cons: plot not very coherent and kind of disjointed (just who exactly IS Alejandro in this video?), and Gaga looked kind of sickly-skinny during the "sexy writhing on the bed" scenes

I think Lady Gaga wanted this to be an epic music video, but (I hate to be the one to admit it) she tried too hard.
hollybrooke: (rio is cute but not that bright)
So I'm going to be very bold with my character (Ace/Rio) and say this.

"Jem is a big phony. She's also a flaky, unprofessional hack singer who only sings what's put in front of her, and doesn't have a creative bone in her body. I mean, hell. She relies on Kimber Benton to write all of her songs. Oh, and she's also a cocktease. God, is she a cocktease."

.....I'm going to looooove playing Rio as a straight-up drunken asshole douchebag. COME AT ME!

And I may have a Jem-snark up by Memorial Day. If I do, it'll be "Intrigue at the Indy 500" (for obvious reasons). Believe me, I haven't forgotten! Since I had to wipe my hard-drive a few months ago, it's been hard for me to install a DVD player device on here, so it's been kind of a pain in the ass to try to do screencaps.

*edit* Looks like I'm temping Eric Raymond now over there!

*edit* HEY ED, when's 80s night again? ;)
hollybrooke: (Poker Face)
It's officially the week before Thanksgiving. As of today, there are thirty-five days before Christmas.

To me, Christmas isn't the same it was when I was younger. I think ten years of working in retail has kind of killed the Christmas spirit for me. In my opinion, I think Christmas tends to bring out the worst in people as opposed to the good. I'm not normally such a pessimistic person, but I honestly feel that way.

Think about it. Lots of greedy kids who get upset if they don't get everything they want from Santa Claus. Adults frustrated trying to get the toys that their kids want, decorating their homes, cooking and cleaning for relatives coming over, stressing out over bills. People being denied their holiday bonuses, or worse...getting laid off this time of year (especially with the way the economy looks right now). Or even worse, getting laid off after Christmas. The stampedes at Target and WalMart on Black Friday, people getting injured (and possibly killed) in the process. People breaking out into fights over holiday shopping. Thefts. Having to make plans to go out of state to visit family and to be with them during the holidays. Arguments with other family members that you very rarely see. Driving in snow and ice.

It also doesn't help that every freaking retailer was pushing Christmas before Halloween was even finished. Even the Lite FM radio station got a head-start on playing Christmas music. I heard it a couple days ago and was all, "NO! IT'S TOO SOON!"

*sigh* Can you tell I'm not looking forward to work today? They have me working nine straight days up till Thanksgiving. How much you want to bet since I've got a short shift today (1:45 to 6:45), they'll stick me on self-check again?

So yeah. I've got a case of the pre-holiday blues. So sue me. Let's hope I get over it soon.
hollybrooke: (Sharpies!)
I get this a lot. I find it interesting that people remember me that well that they can recognize me. I don't know how I feel about this. More often than not, they remember me because of:

--working at Blockbuster (especially with the St. John crowd)
--I might have went to the Lowell High School with them (I did do morning announcements my senior year for the Media Club, and I was in a few school plays...)
--maybe around IUN or Purdue Cal
--Rocky Horror/Pink Invaders (and those who do recognize me from there don't usually want to mention that they remember me from seeing me running around half-naked, *teehee*)

(And apparently, I have a doppleganger who graduated from Lake Central in 2002 that people confuse me for.)

What's even weirder are the people who remember me from elementary school. A few days ago, I had this customer who was a grade ahead of me, but she remembered me from Jane Ball waaaay back in the day. And there are also a few others I do remember from my grade that I've run into at Strack's. It's weird because these people have grown so much from sixth grade when I last saw them and I have a hard time recognizing them, but I guess I really haven't changed that much in the face.

But today was the kicker. Back in high school, this guy named Greg used to give me such a hard time and teased me a lot. Well, quite a few guys teased me and gave me a hard time back in high school, but this one in particular was one I remember well. (I will refrain from mentioning his last name, but if for some reason [livejournal.com profile] wonkylibrarian is reading this, maybe she'll remember.)

The customer in question today looks at me and says, "...You look familiar, do I know you?" My first response to this is usually, "I used to work at the video store across the street." She says, "No, that's not it....where did you go to high school?" So I'm thinking, Maybe she's LHS faculty or something. I told her I went to Lowell High School. She asked what year I graduated, so I told her 1999. She says she thinks I went to school with her son and mentioned the last name. All I could say was, "...Greg?"

And she said, "Oh wow, I thought you looked familiar! He used to give you such a hard time back then! I'm so sorry about that!"

It was just SO AWKWARD, but funny at the same time. I mean, it was good to hear he was doing okay for himself and got out of Indiana. But it was awkward because he especially gave me such a hard time back then, and I don't ever remember seeing his mother at all, so how did she know who I was or what I even looked like?

......Makes me wonder if he teased me because he liked me. And you know...why are high school buys like that? I went through my adolescent years thinking I was just unappealing to guys in general because they teased and harassed me so much. Ugh.
hollybrooke: (Default)
In regards to this post at ONTD last night in which people were anticipating fat wank that never came, it occurred to me that in the midst of all of the BSC books, the only time an overweight character was shown in the book was with Norman Hill. It would've been interesting if the BSC had an actual plus-size member included in the group. Because let's be honest....

--It's not fair that Claudia Kishi could eat as much junk food as she wanted and never gained any weight or had bad skin. That's just unrealistic.
--Meanwhile, if Stacey McGill eats so much as an M&M, she goes into a diabetic coma.
--Then you have that freaking hippie Dawn Schafer, with her healthy "California cuisine" agenda trying to shove it down everyone's throat when she just doesn't get it: east coast people don't like tofu.

So, mainly for my own snark/fanfic purposes, I am creating a new character, because it just wasn't enough to bring Abby the Token Allergic Jew into the group. I'm calling her Theresa Alvarez. Guess what? She's Latina! She has long, wavy dark brown hair and olive-toned skin. And she's a music nut. (We need a musician to balance out the extracurricular activities.) She plays clarinet in the school band, and on her own time she plays piano and la guitarra; she's very talented. She dresses kind of....well, she follows her own style, like Dawn does, but not as "hippie-ish" like Dawn does. Teresa likes ripped jeans and band t-shirts, and she also likes to dress up in stuff like flowing skirts and ruffled shirts that look very romantic.

And....yeah, she's plus-sized. They will never refer to her as "fat," though. They will mention that she's "a little bigger than the rest of us in the club," or "she's pleasantly plump" or "more of her to love." But yeah, they'll mention it like they constantly have to mention that Jessi is black.
hollybrooke: (ONTD is Jericho)
He says I should just take a "I <3 ONTD" sign with me to Monday Night Raw and see how many WWE Superstars I can get to pose with it.

hollybrooke: (Jem Twilight in Paris)
If Kevin and I ever move in together, I am not backing down on having a Hello Kitty-themed bathroom. In fact, I'll start working on it now.

All-pink girly bathroom, so I can bathe and get purdy in. PINK!
hollybrooke: (Sharpies!)
So Kevin and I went to the Lake County Fair yesterday. I hadn't been to the fair in a long time, but yeah. It's pretty much the same, with overpriced food and souveniers and carnies and rigged games. The highlight of the night was Kevin trying his luck at one of the games where you throw a baseball and try to hit some of the beer bottles. The carnie kept telling him, "Aim for a specific bottle. Don't aim for the tin behind it." Well, duh, you moron, you think we didn't know that? (Like I said....rigged games! Yeah!)

So yeah, I did a lot of thinking about it yesterday. A lot. I even dug out old yearbooks and did some rooting around. And I came to the realization that I got along with more people than I realize, and there were only a handful (or two) of my peers that were just total stuck-up snobs. Who knows if they'll even be at the reunion? And it wouldn't hurt going and having an M&M's worth of fun. (An overpriced M&M's worth, at least.)
hollybrooke: (rio is cute but not that bright)
Carmen just threw me a bone. "Phantom of Starbright Music." I love it!

I just need to flesh out the details, but I think I can make this work.
hollybrooke: (I didn't make him for YOU!)
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Yes. I think anyone who reads this knows who and what I'm talking about. If Zero really had grown up and decided to apologize, I wouldn't accept it because he was the one who decided to act like a major immature jackass when I tried.

Here's the thing. Apologies mean nothing unless the person doing so truly means it. They have to acknowledge that you were either right, or that your feelings were hurt, or that you were wronged. They can't just be apologizing because it'll put their mind at ease. It's a two-way thing; it can't be one-sided.

And sometimes, apologies occur too late to really make any amends.
hollybrooke: (Alice facepalm)
A lot sure has changed over the last five or six years. I've been re-reading my LiveJournal entries from when I signed up and started using this account. I am amazed at how trivial and whiny I was back then. (And just how much I pined over Zero...God, I was pathetic.) That material kind of made me cringe. Well, a lot of it made me think, "What the hell was I thinking?!"

And damn, Kevin's seen me deal with a lot of crap over the last five or six years, now that I think about it.

I do think I've grown up a lot since then. Yeah, I moved out once, and I'm still at home. But I'm still working on that. I'm going to get out on my own for good one of these days.


I have to keep telling myself this and believing it'll happen.
hollybrooke: ("Is that your natural hair color?")
It's been ten years since the Columbine High School massacre. This happened not even two months before I finished my senior year. After it happened, I remember a lot of us in my senior class just dropping whatever petty problems we had with each other, but you know....sometimes an event like a massacre happening is too little, too late.

Since this has happened, it seems like there have been more reports of trouble with teenagers popping up in the news, and I'm not just talking about events like what happened at Columbine High School. I'm talking about cases like those teenage girls in Florida inviting the other girl over to severely beat the crap out of her, and taping it and posting the footage on YouTube. I'm talking about a parent posing as a kid on MySpace to degrade another teenage girl and drive to committing suicide. And more recently, I'm talking about the parents who are blaming a school for not intervening in a bullying situation that drove their own son to suicide.

News like this just really, really upsets me. Why the hell are today's adolescents so cruel and petty an--dare I say it--brutal? It seems like it's just been getting worse since the Columbine High School massacres ten years ago. I thought we'd all take something from that and learn from it. Apparently, we haven't. Teenagers are worse than ever now, and I'd never thought I'd hear myself saying it or see myself typing it on a computer screen; it makes me feel, well, old.

Who do we pin the blame on? The schools for turning a blind eye to what's going on in between classes and not cracking down on bullying? Poor guidance counselors? Video games? (That's a laugh.) Cliques? Social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace? Cell phones and text messaging? Celebutards like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan for glamorizing being a "mean girl," and the media outlets/paparazzi who feed into all of their hype? Or flat-out bad parenting?

I don't know...I just don't know.

hollybrooke: (mentally unbalanced crackhead)
You know how you watch a movie and you think you know it all, then you watch it later and discover parts that you never really paid much attention to before? For example, around Christmastime this year, we were watching Home Alone at Gramma Julie's, and Sandy hadn't really seen it in a long time. I guess she never really paid much attention to the beginning when Kevin's plane ticket/passport got ruined when the drinks were spilled, and how the power went out and everyone forgot that he had to sleep upstairs in the attic because he was such a shithead, and how it all added up to how easily he was forgotten when they had to make the flight.

Enough of that example. So last week, I purchased Mary Poppins on DVD. (FINALLY!) And I've seen this movie quite a number of times when I was a kid, but I've never really paid much attention near the very end when Mr. Banks gets fired by his bosses at the bank. (Probably because it's so serious and somber and no singing's involved.) So I found it interesting when Mr. Dawes pointed out that there hadn't been a run on their bank since the late 1700s when a loan was taken out by the East Indian Tea company from that bank after allllll of the tea that was shipped to America was dumped into Boston Harbor. And all it took for the run on the bank that day was Michael's poor behavior.

The Boston Tea Party reference in Mary Poppins has eluded me for twenty-something years. *facepalm*
hollybrooke: (Go to your room Lisa!)
I've been having a real problem with this lately. I feel like no one is really interesting in hearing anything I have to say. I think it all came to a head yesterday (and could probably account for my rotten mood on Easter yesterday) when I casually made some comment about some random subject to Mom (I can't even remember what the topic of conversation was). She said, "What?" And I tried explaining myself to her. Then Hunter said, "Oh, just ignore her, she's babbling about stupid shit again."

THAT HURT. THAT REALLY HURT. Is this what I'm reduced to with my own family members? If I open my mouth to voice an opinion, it's just going to be disregarded because they don't think it's very important to acknowledge? I'm getting really sick and tired of this. I feel like my means of expressing myself is being hindered or obstructed.

The only person who seems remotely interested in listening to anything I have to say is Kevin. But whenever we talk on the phone anymore, it seems like he had the majority of the conversation while I'm listening to what he's saying. And I barely have anything interesting to say because nothing of interest really happens to me. It's just day after day of going to work, dealing with stupid customers, tolerating co-workers. Or I'm at home, bored, not interacting with Mom or Hunter because it leads back to them not really acknowledging anything I have to say because they just think I'm "babbling about stupid shit." It's a vicious circle.

Sometimes I truly feel very...ignored. I feel like Meg Griffin, sad to say:

hollybrooke: (People Order Our Patties!)
I'm not thrilled with the last raise I got at work. I've been looking through the employee handbook, and I haven't found anything in there about how exactly raises work, except that you get one every six months because we are with the union.

However, it's not necessarily the raise that I'm not happy with. It's the recent increases in minimum wage and how it hasn't been effecting my rate of pay. Frankly, I think if minimum wage is going to be increased, it should effect everyone's wages and not just those working at minimum wage. I'm scheduled for my next raise in June. Indiana's minimum wage goes up again in July to $7.25 an hour. (For those of you going "WTF?! $7.25 an hour?! Hell, where I live, it's at least $10 an hour!" keep in mind that I live in INDIANA.) Which means if the raises keep going the way they are and my paycheck won't be affected by the increase in minimum wage....I'll be back to earning a crappy paycheck. :(

Is this job really worth it if I've been working for nearly two years and earning close to minimum wage, despite these "raises"?

I need to find out when the next union meeting will be around here, or else I'll have to call my rep and ask him directly.

On a related note, they want to re-train me to work in the service center. Ugh. Not thrilled with that, either.
hollybrooke: (cinderella mosaic at WDW)
And Kevin doesn't count just because he's my boyfriend.

I mean, a BFF.

I don't feel like I've ever really had one...a friend who's stuck by me through thick and thin, who regularly calls me up just to talk and to check up on what I'm up to, who invites me without a second thought to go do stuff like go to the movies or to hang out, who phones me up the second a crisis hits to cry on my shoulder and to let me listen and to help sort out problems.

All I've ever wanted was real friends. Not fair-weather friends who are only there for you when you fleetingly pass through their thoughts. And certainly not friends who only use you for their convenience, and to make themselves feel better about themselves. It's no fun being lonely and miserable.

All the "BFF"s I've had who I thought would stay friends with me....we've all just drifted apart with time. I certainly don't try to alienate myself. It's just....I try hard to be friendly to other people, and I just get this weird reception back, like, "Uh....oh-kaaay, uh...why are you talking to me? I'm just going to avoid you. I don't know why, either. You're just....weird."

Do people smell my desperation? Am I really that pathetic? Or over-eager?

Excuse my rambling...I've just been feeling more lonely and isolated than normal lately.


hollybrooke: (Default)

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