hollybrooke: (Watercolors)
I think I've pinpointed another problem with my relationship with Kevin. We're well into adulthood, but this just feels very.....high school.

I'm sorry, but I don't know if he knows how this works. The best way to get a woman "revved up" does not include dinner at Denny's, listening to a burned copy of The Lonely Island on the way, and then attempting to feel me up later on at home while watching regular ol' TV. IT'S NOT SEXY.

If I have to go out on one more date with him to the same exact places we go and I have to listen to that goddamned Lonely Island CD in his car and he attempts to feel me up with no real smooth moves, I'm going to scream. I can only hope that the trip to Georgia next month for his cousin's wedding is a tad more romantic than that.

He just seems very much like a teenage boy. Not a man. This just seems very "movie-burger-backseat" to me. I feel like I'm growing past that.
hollybrooke: (Default)
Okay. I really don't like to talk about my romantic life too much on even my LiveJournal, but it's weighing on my mind.

So we had our first disagreement in four years right before New Year's Eve over my/our plans for New Year's Eve. He got annoyed that I hadn't made any plans. Mainly, I think he was annoyed that I didn't include him in my no-plan. Quite frankly, like I've said before on here, I'm getting tired of feeling like we're attached to the hip and I have to do everything with him.

So we had a talk about this. We agreed that yes, the relationship is in a rut. He says he's committed to the relationship, but saying you are and acting like it are two different things. It's been four years. I don't see us moving in together anytime soon, and I certainly don't see him putting a ring on my finger. A commitment is a lot more than just going out for the usual movie-burger-backseat once every week, and it's more than a five-minute talk every day on the phone to keep tabs on one another. And he doesn't really want to be having these sorts of conversations with me.

I have dreams and goals. Goals that will eventually take me far out of Indiana. I don't think he is willing to make that sort of commitment for me. He says he is, but for some reason, I don't really buy it.

Mom says she wishes he would just propose already, but (and I know this sounds bad) I hope he doesn't. The two of us getting married isn't going to solve our obvious problems. I wish he would follow through with more of his "oh yeah, I'm committed" speak.
hollybrooke: Rigby is jumping up and down on Mordecai's bed (Rigby jumping on Mordecai's bed)
It's a tad delayed, but Happy New Year to everyone!

So I made some resolutions for this year, and they are (in no particular order):
--to improve my social life. I want to meet new people and make new friends, because I unfortunately don't seem to have much of a life outside of work and the Internet. I need more in-real-life-friends.
--to improve my general health. I'm going to try to lose 50 pounds this year, not just to fit into a certain size, but at least half of this 50 pounds has come from the general stress of working at the grocery store. That's not good.
--to move the hell out. My parents and younger brother keep talking about the end of the world happening this year (which I firmly don't believe will happen), and I'm sorry, but if it does happen, I'd rather take my chances and die in the radiation than live the rest of my life in a bunker with them. I've read Anne Frank's diary. I don't want to go insane living with those morons any longer.
--to improve my art skills and get accepted into an art school with a good animation program (I'm looking at CalArts).

*tangent

So, still with my boyfriend. (For the time being, anyway.) He was annoyed that I hadn't made any concrete New Year's Eve plans and that I wasn't including him in my no-plans. Uh, what? Sorry, but kind of a stupid reason to get pissed. If I hadn't really had any New Year's Eve plans, he shouldn't have taken it personally. I was perfectly content to just stay home, do some cleaning out and straightening up by myself. I kind of didn't want to be out in the cold or on the roads that night. And he knows I don't go out and party like I used to. Hell, even he admits to this. And why does he have to depend on me to have a plan? Hmm?

Well, we went out anyway, because I only knew of one shindig going on that night: Help Me Mommy's Rocky Horror New Year's Eve Show. There was a rave party going on before the show, so I figured if we're going to go out, let's just do that. And I got dressed up and did my hair and all of that. He didn't make much of an effort to get dressed up. If we're going to party, fine. I'm going to party and dance my ass off. He stuck by my side and....I'm sorry, but he can't dance worth a crap. It was kind of a pain in the ass, to be honest. And besides the fact that it was the Rocky Horror Picture Show (I really don't get to go like I used to, but we all know why I don't go as often anymore), it was kind of a crappy New Year's Eve. I wanted to chat up with some of my cast member friends after the show, but he wanted to leave right away.

He claims he had a good time. I tried, but was unsuccessful. Yep. The BF is cramping my style, and I don't like it. It's time I start looking around; hence, the resolution to improve my social life.

*tangent*

So....who else here thinks the world is going to end this year? Like I said, I don't. But my parents and my brother are buying into all of those dumb conspiracy theories about the December 21, 2012 thing, and sun spots, and Armageddon and the apocalypse and are actually making plans to make a freaking bunker in case the worst happens.

You want to know what I think? I think they need to turn off the H2 channel and read some actual scientific research. I don't like them watching that channel all the time. It's just going to get people riled up and anxious over nothing. If they're that concerned about sun spots and the planet going to shit, then maybe they need to start doing something to help take care of the planet. My brother used to date this girl who was all into conservation, and he always made fun of her and ragged on her for that stuff, but at least her heart was in the right place. I speak my opinion with my family, and they just laugh it off and don't take it seriously.

I think a lot of those conspiracy theories are bullshit. I think a lot of the world's weather problems are due to a shift in the axis (which happens every couple of hundred years or so). I don't think the world will end on December 21, 2012 (actually, that date has been proven to be miscalculated), and this will all be a blip. Just like Y2K was.

*tangent*

And not to sound too morbid, but it's time for my 2012 Celebrity Death List. (Last year was a banner year for me, actually. Eight out of my ten passed away last year. I'm lucky if one or two go.)

--Etta James
--Zsa Zsa Gabor
--Andy Griffith
--Dick Clark
--Mickey Rooney
--Kirk Douglas
--Jerry Lee Lewis
--Olivia de Havilland
--Harper Lee
--Loretta Lynn

And my wild cards (the ones whom I'm all "I can't believe they're still alive!" and probably won't go for a while longer, but you never know...):
--Hugh Hefner
--Willie Nelson
--Keith Richards

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