hollybrooke: illustration of Rapunzel from "Tangled" very storybook-style (Storybook illustration of Rapunzel)
Disney Movie Rewards just announced their ultimate reward:

Tour for Four of the Walt Disney Studios and El Capitan Theater


That would mean you would have to buy EVERY DVD and CD that Disney has out right now and have accumulated all of your points from the last year or so just to be able to earn this!

What kills me is that my previous point balance didn't roll over because I hadn't spent any of them over a period of time. (Sorry, but I didn't see any rewards I cared much for since I got my Up! grape soda top pin.) I was saving them up for something bigger and better (LIKE THIS, MAYBE?!).

Disney owns my soul, sadly. *sigh*
hollybrooke: (Default)
My boyfriend's been kind of bothering me about New Year's Eve plans. Honestly, I don't have any plans. (Mainly because I don't know who's doing what where.) I'm torn on whether I want to go out or not for New Year's Eve. If I go out, he'll want to come with and he'll be attached to my hip all night. If I want to stay in, he'll want to "keep me company." We've been dating for four years now. When will he understand that I'm not a shrinking violet-type that needs to be "kept company"?

Truthfully, I would like to go out, but I'd rather go out with a group of friends and not have to worry about my boyfriend all night.

But let's be honest. I honestly don't see the relationship lasting much longer. We've been in a rut for a while, and I think he and I would be better off as friends. I think he can definitely find another woman better suited for him than I am. We had the whole "where are we going?" talk about a month ago, and it was a very vague conversation. He's very touchy-feely and cuddly; I'm not. He says he's serious about the relationship, but he doesn't really act like it. He says he supports my ambitions, but I can tell he has some serious doubts about it.

I just feel like our lives are going in different directions and the relationship has kind of run its course. But I don't know how to have this conversation with him. *sigh*
hollybrooke: (Usagi pool)
So Kevin and I went to Six Flags Great America yesterday. And if you haven't been there yet this summer, you might want to go soon. First of all, they're running the American Eagle backwards until September 17th in honor of the coaster's 35th anniversary (30th or 35th, something like that. Or it may be the park's. I can't remember.).

SECOND of all, they're shutting down the Iron Wolf September 5th and getting rid of it. Which you know what that means. POTENTIAL NEW ROLLERCOASTER!!! *squeeee!* In all seriousness, though, Six Flags Great America needs a new rollercoaster reeeeeally badly. That Dark Knight coaster really wasn't worth the hype, and the Little Dipper is just a transplant kids' rollercoaster from when Kiddieland was shut down. The last big rollercoaster SFGA got was Superman: The Ride.

My suggestions for the rides? They really need to get some groundskeepers on the job and do a better job of upkeeping the ride atmospheres. They could get rid of quite a bit of the plants by the Demon AND repaint the rocks AND get rid of all the gum people like to stick on the "stalactites." (That was just gross.) They could also try to spruce up the queuing area around there because it looks kind of run-down. Also, they REALLY need to think about revamping the queuing area around Batman: The Ride because all of the Tim Burton-style Batman stuff just makes it look outdated. Just re-theme it after the Nolan-verse Batman films (ESPECIALLY since The Dark Knight Returns will probably be out by next summer).

As for a replacement coaster for Iron Wolf? I would die if they got a rollercoaster that was on the same playing field with the X2 out at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Or the new Green Lantern coaster, which looks INSANE:

As for the rest of the trip? Wellll.... )

Other than that, it was a fun day. My feet are sore today, and I don't have much of a voice left, but it was a fun day.
hollybrooke: (Bad Holly!  No jumpies!)
The Fourth of July came and went. And I didn't really do anything to celebrate. Oh sure, I had hamburgers and hot dogs with the family like any other red-blooded American. But I didn't have a huge family get-together like all of our neighbors did. I didn't shoot off fireworks. I didn't go see any fireworks displays. I didn't spend the day outside enjoying the weather. I just didn't really feel like doing much of anything.

No big family get-together because I don't really have a huge extended family. Even Grandma Julie didn't come over for burgers or hot dogs. (Turns out Mom never bothered to call her, which Hunter and I both thought that was shitty of her to do.) Dad, Hunter and I are all getting pretty sick of Mom just wanting to isolate herself from the rest of the family we have left that actually loves and cares about her. If she keeps isolating herself, she's going to become an even bigger cranky bitch who uses her MS as a trump card for all of her problems.

Didn't shoot off fireworks because those things cost a fair amount of money that are just going to be shot off and wasted.

Didn't go to see any fireworks shows because they're all the same damn thing around here. Cedar Lake is the same show every year. Crown Point is the same thing every year. Lowell has the same people shooting off the same ones from the subdivisions every year. If you want a good fireworks display, you go to Navy Pier in Chicago (I saw the Navy Pier display a while back after a Weird Al concert), and I heard even that got scaled back this year. It's just not the same to watch them on Fox Chicago or WGN.

Didn't spend the day outside because of the damn Casey Anthony trial closing statements. Ugh, I'll be glad when the verdict comes in on that so I can get a life this summer. I feel like I wasted my vacation at the beginning of June glued to HLN and Twitter during the first week of the trial. (And it's so obvious she's guilty as hell, but I won't be surprised if she walks. I saw the OJ Simpson trial; I know how the judicial system works now. But she'll definitely be doing time for lying to the authorities, that's for damn sure.)

And it's not just the Fourth of July. I've felt this way ever since Halloween last year. I just don't care. Things are just tense and awkward with us at holidays anymore. Hunter and I are both adults and don't have any kids of our own, and it's dawning on me that holidays really aren't that much fun unless you're a kid or you have a kid of your own. They really aren't. I'm not saying this wishing I had a kid (because I still don't think I'm ready for that kind of responsibility); I'm saying this because I think it's true. I think I'm too old to be dressing up for Halloween. I think Thanksgiving is just a grumbly family dinner with adults who have a hard time being thankful for anything unless kids are there to liven things up. Don't even get me started on Christmas; thanks to nearly a decade working in retail, I think it just brings out the worst in people anymore. (That and I've been feeling even more secular lately than ever. I dare not tell people what I truly think for fear of being majorly judged.) New Year's Eve is just an excuse for people to get drunk. I have a boyfriend, but I just wanted to phone in Valentine's Day this year and not make a huge deal about it. St. Patrick's Day is just another excuse for people to get drunk whether they're Irish or not. I love Easter and everything because of springtime and baby animals and flowers and candy/baked goods, but I'm pretty secular so I still feel kind of numb there. Mother's Day I didn't give much of a damn about because at work, everyone was wishing everyone a "Happy Mother's Day!' regardless of whether they were a mother or not, or even if they were a female or not. Did anyone act that way on Father's Day? Not nearly!

Really, the only holidays I give a damn about anymore are Easter (like I said, primarily for the aesthetics) and Independence Day. Other countries can judge us as much as they like, but I don't care. I love this backward-ass country so much and everything we stand for, and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

And yet this year....I just felt so unmotivated to do anything to celebrate. And it hit me yesterday. What the hell is WRONG with me?! Undiagnosed clinical depression? Early mid-life crisis?
hollybrooke: (Jerrica and Rio)
I don't really like to talk about my love life on here, but stuff needs to be said.

Okay. As we all know, I've been struggling to lose some weight for quite a while and I've been unsuccessful at it. I'm not comfortable with my waist. It's gotten flabby.

Kevin likes to cuddle. I don't. Why do I not like to cuddle? First of all, I'm not a very touchy-feely person. Second of all, it involves him holding on to my waist.

MY FLABBY WAIST. It makes me feel fat. I wish he would not do this. I think he would kind of "get" this by now.

Another thing, and this is not limited to just Kevin. I don't like it when anyone sneaks up on me or tries to jump out and surprise me. This is primarily why I don't like going into carnival "haunted houses," and I had a bad experience when Dad tried to do this to me when I was younger. I've told Kevin about this. And yet, I don't know why he does it, but he still likes to sneak up behind me and grab me around my FLABBY WAIST. And he gets annoyed that I'm so jumpy when he sneaks up behind me. I've told him I don't like it when anyone sneaks up behind me. We've been together three years! Why does he still do this?!

It's not like I'm trying to reject his advances on purpose. I'm JUST NOT COMFORTABLE with stuff like that. I think I'm going to have a talk with him about this stuff. I know he's doing the boyfriend-ly thing, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.
hollybrooke: (Mother Knows Best)
I got a call from the Illinois Institute of Art admissions today, because I sent off for some more information. And the woman who called and talked to me about why I wanted to go back to school now and for art instead of what I was going to school for before was very nice. And I'll be talking with her again on Saturday to set up a trip to tour the campus (since I'll know what my work schedule will look like by then).

And I really should've put my cellphone number down instead of the home number because MOM answered the phone, and as soon as I got off the phone with the woman from admissions, she started asking me what that was all about. And it's really sad that I feel like I can't talk to Mom about this sort of thing. All she'll do is just shoot it down! She's never been very supportive of that sort of thing. I shouldn't have to be so secretive about it, but she just wouldn't understand. When I go back to school, I'm not going to be going back to IUN or Purdue Cal. And I'm not going to be doing what she wants me to do with my life. I don't want to be a doctor or a nurse. I think I probably could be a pretty damn good lawyer (especially after watching all this Casey Anthony stuff on HLN and TruTV), but that's not really my heart's desire. And I don't think I'm really cut out for a career in journalism, either. I got burned out with that stuff.

All I've ever really wanted to do since I was a kid was to draw and make cartoons. (Certainly not wasting my life stuck behind a grocery store register, ringing up groceries and having to put up with rude customers with a fake smile on my face.) It's the equivalent of...say, Rapunzel's floating lights. It's one of those lofty dreams that you want more than anything but seems so far out of reach because of a overbearing parent shooting those dreams down.
hollybrooke: (Rapunzel is hilarious)
Seriously, we were without power for nearly 48 freaking hours! And you know, no power is one thing. But when it affects your water supply, then it's ridiculous. And I had just gotten back from Indiana Beach with Kevin, and I was all sweaty and disgusting from being there, and I needed to wash up, and I was gross for nearly three straight days and it was DRIVING ME NUTS. In 90-degree humid weather. With no toilet to flush if I had to go to the bathroom.


But now I'm in nice air-conditioning, being thankful that NIPSCO managed to get it fixed (although it took forever). And I'm clean. And I can go to the bathroom and flush the toilet. Ahhhhh, hooray for modern amenities! (I'd never hack it in the olden days.)
hollybrooke: (Eat your strudel and STFU)
So the other day, I was washing dishes, and I was washing a coffee cup that had a sizeable chip in the rim. And while washing that one, it got in between my right pinky and ring finger and cut it. It wasn't a huge cut and it didn't bleed much, but I can definitely feel it. Currently, my right hand is feeling suspiciously sore. Hopefully it's from me being on the computer too much or from being so busy on the registers at work, and NOT from potential nerve damage from that dumb accident.

And you know what really ticks me off about it? If that damn coffee cup had a chip in it, why the hell didn't Dad just...I don't know, THROW IT AWAY?!!!! I swear, he has a serious problem when it comes to throwing stuff away or getting rid of stuff that we don't need. I came home today from work, and that kitchen was a flat-out pigsty. And he was laying on the couch in his underwear, watching the Encore Western channel. Guess who had to clean up the mess he made because he didn't feel like doing it?

The kitchen is a pigsty, the bathroom is always grubby, the basement keeps getting stuff stacked up in it, the living room just has junk strewn about, and no matter how hard I try to keep things clean and tidy....*bites knuckle*.........can't have nice things!

Then the kicker. He's all, "I'm going to Dairy Queen to get something for your mom. Do you want anything?" I'm not hungry (and I'm trying to lose weight), so I told him no. He comes back with something for me anyway: one of those waffle-cone sundaes. I told him thank you, but I wasn't hungry. He's all, "Well, go ahead and have it anyway!" I told him, "Well, I'll put it in the fridge for later then." He's all, "Well, if you put it in the fridge, it won't be as good later." I told him that was fine with me because I wasn't all that hungry anyway. Then he gets kind of shitty with me and tells me, "Holly, just EAT IT."

I haaaaaaaaate when he pulls shit like this. He practically FORCE-FEEDS ME. God, does he WANT me to STAY FAT?! I didn't even ask for one! He could've saved money by not getting me one as per my request and NOT have had this problem! What is WRONG with him?!

Oh, I can't wait till I move out.


Feb. 21st, 2011 11:38 pm
hollybrooke: (Jem Twilight in Paris)
No one will understand what I mean by this, but..............

Ashley Tisdale? No.


Please God, no. Don't let it happen. Just......no.


...................NO, I tell you! No! Just NO!

I hope this doesn't happen. I really hope not. Toy Fair came and went, and it seemed like there was NO sign or mention of you-know-who at all. Now I hear some mumblings that Ashley Tisdale's production company has optioned something for it, and...............NO!!!

I haven't done a "Jem" snark in ages. I really need to get back on the ball.
hollybrooke: (Default)
A few days ago, Mom was semi-fretting about how we didn't have a Christmas present for my "Aunt" Diane (I use the term loosely because the word "divorce" keeps getting thrown around between her and Uncle Troy) and my stepcousin Sandy. (You know, the one who graduated from IU this year.) So I told Mom not to sweat getting either one of them anything. For one thing, Diane NEVER shows up for Christmas with our side of the family, but we go out of our way to make sure we include Sandy and give her a little something. For another thing....I'm sorry, but when Sandy comes, she......ARGH, she's just the constant irritation for me every Christmas that she's everything I'm not. She's tall, skinny, blonde, tan, got to be a cheerleader popular girl in high school, got to go away to college and be a sorority girl wearing Abercrombie and Fitch crap. And when she comes for Christmas with Troy and TJ, here's what she does: she pigs out on the spinach-artichoke dip and shrimp cocktail, collects her little present, spends the majority of the time texting on her new cell phone and barely engages in conversation with us. Then two hours later, it's off to her other grandparents' on her mom's side of the family to collect more presents. I can't STAND it. To me, she just comes off as spoiled. And Mom agrees. I think it bothers Mom more because Diane does NOT come with them to Gramma Julie's, and it's like she sends Sandy with so she can collect whatever they're supposed to get.

I told Mom not to sweat getting Diane or Sandy anything for these reasons alone, and how we bitch about it every Christmas, and if it really bothers us, then this should be the year that all Sandy gets is a Christmas card because she is an ADULT now. She's a big girl. She graduated from college and is living in either Chicago or Indianapolis now. And it's not like she ever brings us Christmas presents. And especially if Diane never bothers to include herself in our annual family gathering....you know?! And Mom thanked me for putting it all in perspective for her because she knew I was right, and we gripe about this EVERY YEAR at Christmas.

Here's the point I'm trying to get at. We've had a very lean year as a family. Dad's been unemployed for the majority of the year. We barely had much of a Christmas this year for us. I bought for Mom, Dad, Hunter, Gramma Julie, Kevin, his mom, his grandma, and his Aunt Mary (his Aunt Mary always gives me a little unexpected something, so yeah). My Christmas budget was kind of tight this year, and in return, I don't really expect much and it doesn't really bother me. This may very well be a part of growing up...I don't know.

Christmas should not be about giving or getting, to be completely honest. It should be about having a day with your family and being grateful for what you have. Heck, I'm grateful that I get the day off of work today. And I'm really sick and tired of Sandy just showing up to eat, text and run off after two hours. And I'm even more sick and tired of Diane never showing up.

So today I hear that Sandy is coming to Christmas this year with us after all. With her new boyfriend. Great. Can't wait to see how stereotypically hunky he is and what kind of great career he has. I won't be doing anything with Kevin until he's done celebrating Christmas with his family at his cousin's out in Hobart. Which I was invited to, and he was invited to Christmas with us (he knows he's always welcome). But dammit all to hell with Sandy and HER PERFECT LIFE. I almost don't want to go to Gramma Julie's now because of her. AAAARGH.


Sorry about the ranting to bring down the Christmas cheer. I just really needed to get that off of my chest. Can't stand Sandy.

On the good side...work wasn't so bad yesterday. It was a madhouse, of course, but you know what? I really wasn't sweating it. I just paced myself and handled it pretty well. I had some jerk older customer at the beginning of my shift give me attitude about IDing him for booze, but oh well. Get over it, older dude. Maybe that law will get repealed and you won't be so inconvenienced anymore. And I only worked five hours, which wasn't that bad. The time FLEW.

Made a crapload of Christmas cookies last night. Lots of chocolate chip and snickerdoodles. Was going to make sugar cookies, too, but I got tired. I got Family Guy and Philosophy from Hunter (yeah!), and I'll be getting new snow boots from Mom and Dad, but they're still on backorder. They'll probably come in this week. I also got two Weezer albums from Dan and Becky, of all people. Didn't expect that, and they really didn't have to get me anything. (Hurley and Death to False Metal, for anyone who's interested.)

Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!
hollybrooke: (Neo Queen Serenity)
To be honest, not a whole lot has been going on lately. I'm still fighting the good fight at work, hating the job and everything that comes along with it. Home life is still just as irritating. And my 30th birthday is coming up in less than a month...and the depression sets in.

I thought I would be moved out and away from my family by now. I really did. But I'm pretty much living paycheck to paycheck because of bills. I still feel that I'm wasting my time at SVT. I also feel that my parents don't expect me to move out anymore and constantly rely on me to do shit for them, and I still feel underappreciated around the house, and it's really pissing me off. I haven't been able to get a second job to earn some side cash. And things with Kevin are okay, but that's just it. They're okay. We've been together for about three years now, and sometimes I don't think he takes the relationship very seriously.

To top it all off, the holidays are just around the corner, and to be completely honest, I'm not looking forward to them at all this year. I feel this year, customers are going to be even more irritated and cranky to deal with than before. And then to add insult to injury...let's put it this way. I work in a very conservative town where everyone lives by the rules of the church. Lately, I've just been questioning my own faith. I don't even know what I believe in anymore. And I feel if I were to tell anyone this, they'd just barrage me with a bunch of pro-Christian stuff to try to reinforce my belief in Christ, and...that just ain't cutting it for me anymore. That "God has a plan" stuff really doesn't make you feel any better when it looks like everything's going to shit. If this is God's great plan, to be living as an indigent under my parents' roof while working for just a little over slave wages at a crummy grocery store where I have to deal with stupid cranky people on a daily basis and watching my mother's neurological disease slowly get worse, I don't like it.
hollybrooke: (Katy Perry)
First of all, before I start on this rant, could someone tell me why WGN Morning News was just playing the "Jem" opening?! (Apparently, Robin Baumgarten used to watch it when she was in college. AWESOME.)

Okay...this is going to sound stupid to make a big deal about, and I'm not really trying to make a big deal about it. But I don't like how when you make a comment on someone else's status or picture upload, you get a notification about when everyone else comments on it. And then if you so happen to open that email notification, you get to read that message.

Case in point? One of my Facebook "friends" (for lack of a better word, because I really haven't kept in touch with her since high school) that I was friends with back in high school uploaded a bunch of old pictures from high school, and I happen to be in one of those pictures. A prom picture. A group prom picture. Because I had no date. And I was notified of this because of the stupid tagging feature. And now everyone else who has commented in that link likes to reminisce about the fun time they had at prom and all throughout high school that I obviously don't remember because I wasn't included. It's stuff like this which is why I didn't want to go to the ten-year reunion last year. Why pay money to hang around a bunch of people whom I didn't get along with, and to hear about all the fun times they had while I wasn't included? (Of course, it didn't help that a lot of my friends during high school were a grade level or two below me, so that explains a lot of things.)

It's like....wow, Facebook. Just wow. I had no idea how much a stupid networking site could make me dredge up old memories that just make me feel like shit. I try to escape those lonely times, and here you are, rubbing it in my face. Thanks a lot, Facebook. I should've never commented in that link.

I just keep telling myself that the friends you make or keep after high school are the ones who truly matter. God, I hate Facebook sometimes for crap like this.
hollybrooke: (BatB TLDR)
Happy Easter, everybody! Plans for today include going to Gramma Julie's for Easter. Then later on, I'm shooting up to Kevin's mother's place for a little while. :)

I don't know what it is about me not liking going to holiday things at Gramma Julie's anymore. I think I would like it better if Sandy weren't there. For one thing, it's like the only time of year we ever see her--at Christmas and Easter. For another thing...she just makes me feel so inferior, with her IU-student/sorority girl/spoiled brat life.

And her skinniness and tanned skin and blonde hair.

And her Abercrombie and Fitch wardrobe.

And how she just texts on her cellphone half the time and barely engage in conversation with the rest of us.

And chows down on the spinach-and-artichoke dip because she's a vegetarian and barely touches the rest of the food (except for shrimp cocktail; she's not TOO vegetarian to pass up the shrimp cocktail).

Just.....ugh. I don't even know what she has planned for what she's going to do when she graduates. I hear she was shooting for a career in broadcast communications, but who knows?

I sat down and really thought about it earlier last week. And you know what? I really don't know if I want to go back to school and finish up the journalism thing. It's not really what I wanted to go to college for in the first place. I honestly feel like I was pushed into it by my high school guidance counselor. I would've really loved to have pursued that dream of being an animator and went to art school. And you know....I could still do it. Because quite frankly, I'm at this point in my life where I'm done with trying to do what Mom wants me to do so she can be proud of me. I'd rather be happy with what I do with my life rather than trying to please the impossibly-hard-to-please.

Here's my goal. I want to sit down and write a book of my memoirs as a grocery store cashier. I want to publish this. I want to earn money off of this. And with this money, I'll fund my way through art school.
hollybrooke: (Evil Homer)
I had this house pretty well cleaned up, tidied, and smoke-free before Mom and Dad came back from Alabama. The day they came back, I came home from work to find them home...and the house had been turned into a smoke-filled pigsty, I swear to God.

And now the house is a wreck. Dad doesn't pick up any of his shit. Mom can't get around to do any tidying. And anytime I try to straighten up something, I get yelled at by Dad to not move his shit.


Then Mom complains how there's no food that she can eat. Screw her. Before they came home, I made the sure the fridge was stocked with good food and none of the shit she always gets from Aldi's. And here she is, back home, and making a run to Aldi's every other day to spend more money on food that we don't need so she can complain that there's never anything to eat. I bought good, whole wheat bread--she bitches that she hates wheat, she'd rather have crappy white. I bought 1% milk--she bitches that she prefers 2%. I bought unsalted butter--she bitches that she liked the salted kind. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?! IT'S STILL BUTTER!!!

Just....go the fuck back down to Hillbillyville. Hunter and I were fairing pretty well on our own and didn't have so much stress with the two of them not around.
hollybrooke: (Sharpies!)
You know, when I just want to curl up on my bed and cry for no reason. I don't want to go to work and deal with all of the rude, dumbass customers today. I really don't. I feel this way each and every day I go to work, and I just get this incredible urge to scream and run away from the place upon entering. Or I just take my nametag off mid-order, throw it on the floor, declare "That's it, I quit" and just walk out. I get absolutely no job fulfillment or personal satisfaction waiting on people who are just going to treat me like crap.

Sometimes I wish we really were allowed to say what the hell we want to the customers without having to worry about them complaining to management. It's such a joke. A really bad joke.

I'm sure Eddie Blake would agree with me.
hollybrooke: (Default)
Update: (a few minutes ago)

I'm searching the fridge for something for lunch BECAUSE MOM ATE THE REST OF MY SANDWICH.
Mom tells me (in the rudest voice possible), "Your father's picking you up a sandwich."
I go to my room. I'm still pissed at her. I really don't want to talk to her.
She tells me that she did NOT appreciate my little outburst this morning.
I tell her she could have at least ASKED.
She says I don't appreciate when she makes me food before I go to work. (Which is very rarely, and I don't even ask.)
I tell her that's not the point, and that she should have at least ASKED.
She tells me it was only a quarter of a sandwich.
I tell that's STILL not the point. All she had to do was ASK. She could've pointed out when asking that it was only a quarter of a sandwich and I MIGHT have said yes, or I could've told her that I was saving it for work. Hell, the whole point of me saving it was because Kevin and I knew we were going to get the free slice of pie (Wednesday at Baker's Square) and I didn't want to make a pig of myself before I got my pie.
She tells me that I still don't appreciate it when she makes food for me before I go to work (like she did with the steak last week; why the hell is she making a big deal over this?!).
I tell her that yes I do, but I'm pissed off because SHE DIDN'T ASK. ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS ASK FIRST. Hell, when I bring food home and Hunter wants to finish it off, he at least asks me first.
She points out yet again that "it was only a quarter of a sandwich, it wouldn't have filled you up."
I tell her that I only get fifteen minutes for my break. Which includes me going back to the breakroom to get into my locker to get money out of my purse, then going to the deli or wherever to get what I'm going to eat, then I have to go either wait in line to be rang up or go use the u-scans. This eats into my breaktime, which is why I was looking forward to taking something with me today.
She points out YET AGAIN that I do not appreciate when she makes me food. (And why the hell does she keep bringing this up? This has nothing to do with the fact that she ate food that wasn't hers!) She tells me that FINE. I don't have to eat the food SHE buys anymore. (Frankly, this is fine with me because I do all of my own damn grocery shopping and make the majority of my own food anyway, and don't really care for the food she buys because it's all stuff she likes anyway, but I don't tell her that.)

Dad and I were talking about it (since he witnessed that whole thing this morning), and he told me not to expect an apology from her. "Shit, we're nearing in on 30 years being married, and she ain't apologized to me for anything ever," he told me. What the hell?! Did Gramma Julie ever teach her anything about apologizing to others when you do something wrong? Or will Mom just chalk this up to "I HAVE MS! I HAVE BRAIN PROBLEMS!" like she does with everything else?

I just don't know.
hollybrooke: (exhausted)
Work, family, social life....everything except for my love life.

I'm getting sick of work by the day. I keep telling myself, "Every job is like this," but it's really starting to try my patience. I've been working eight-hour shifts every day since last Wednesday, and I don't get a day off until Friday. For the last three days, by the time my shift is over with, my feet and knees are killing me. I seem to always get stuck on register ten, where the hand scanner doesn't work--HASN'T been working properly for the last few weeks--and I have to physically go around and lift the heavy stuff for the lazy customers.

The customers are grating my nerves more than normal. I swear, the next time I ask, "Did you find everything you were looking for?" and I get a smart-assy answer such as "No, I couldn't find the money tree/winning lottery ticket/bag of money/lost hundred dollar bill" (and the last one has irritated me even more so in the last few days, given that I fucking FOUND a fifty dollar bill and did the honest thing and turned it in to the service desk)....I want just be entirely blunt and tell the customer "I got tired of that joke after the first fifteen minutes of working here." But noooo, can't do that! Then they'll complain to management that I have no sense of humor, and I'll get a speaking-to about that. Trust me, customers do stupid shit like this. Like they have nothing better to do. You know, some days I just don't feel like joking around, okay?!

Customers always feel the need to bitch about the consoles, especially the whole fact that you have to sign your name on the pad now instead of on a piece of paper. Seriously, it's not that hard to sign! The harder you press the stylus to the pad, the more likely nothing will show up; use a light touch! And please quit bitching about "this looks NOTHING like my signature, I don't see how you guys can accept this." Then maybe you shouldn't be paying with your credit card. It's this shit that's gotten us into the credit pinch/financial crisis the USA is in right now--unnecessary purchases on your credit card.

Oooh, and yes, the stylus has a blunt, rounded end. Yes, you can sign with it. Don't look at it for two minutes with that "you expect me to write with this?!" expression on your face. Hell, you can write your name on there with your damn fingertip. God, people are picky.

Also, if you normally wear glasses, is it so hard to wear them while you do your damn grocery shopping?! Next customer I hear complaining that they can't see shit on the credit card console because "I'm not wearing my glasses," I'll slap a bitch.

"Jinkies! Where are my glasses?!"

If the UC asks the customer if they want paper or plastic bags, the customer will usually ignore them and then tell me how they want their stuff bagged. Guess what? I'm not the UC. I'm the cashier. Tell the UC how you want it bagged. Don't act like they don't exist.

And while I'm on the subject, I refuse to do anymore bagging of the groceries until I'm done with the money transaction, so the UCs need to be ON IT with the bagging. I think a lot of me helping with the bagging has a lot to do with my till being off--I'm not paying attention to the transaction because I'm too busy picking up the slack.

You have two separate orders? Fine. I'll ring them up separate. I don't need to hear the story about how "this is for church charity" or "for my sick neighbor" as to why it's a separate order.

If I ask for coupons, don't be a smart-ass and be all, "Oh yeah, that'd be smart." Uhm, yes, it WOULD be smart. Don't bitch to me about high grocery prices, then buy a bunch of useless junk food and not try to save money. "Why? Do you have any for me?" Nope. Not anymore. I'm not going to pass along the unused coupons in my coupon holder to help you out anymore. You jerks sure don't appreciate it. Go search the newspapers and Internet. Not that hard.

As for the UCs....do your freaking job, and shut your trap while you do it. I'm tired of seeing a cluster of UCs around my register just chatting and gossiping during an order and not getting much work done. Doug always talks about the chicks he talks to and his supposed girlfriend that I don't think exists, and then there's Andy who's always going on and on about something, usually wrestling, or high school football, or how the Cubs suck, or whatever programming's on Vh1's CelebReality block. Andy's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but damn, he gets downright irritating.

Keep telling myself I need a new job or a second job, trying to save up to move out...feeling like that'll never happen. Feeling trapped.

Family life....whenever Dad's home, he just lazes around the house and sleeps a lot. Then he'll want to watch late-night TV and fall asleep with the TV blaring. This is opposite my room, and it keeps me up late, which is why I'm usually online so late anymore. BECAUSE I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP. Makes a bunch of messes and doesn't clean them up, and expects me and Mom to do it. Mom gets frustrated with him a lot. Goes off to do his hunting and fishing, never around the house when we need him.

We all know why Mom pisses me off. Sometimes I wish she would just lighten up and try to be positive. I think a lot of her attitude rubs off on the whole family.

Hunter....okay, I know where he's coming from. He's busy with his erratic work schedule and college classes. But he's out with Bobby a lot more lately. (And here comes Bobby now, speak of the devil.) Doesn't pick up after himself. Just locks himself in his room playing "Guitar Hero" or "Rock Band." Drives Mom nuts. Can't even be bothered to do as much as take Bo out for a walk.

Poor Bo is stuck inside the house while I'm at work, driving Mom nuts. He's so energetic, and Mom can't keep up with him. We can't just leave him outside because we can't let dogs run loose anymore. Might get hit by a truck, or the neighbors will call animal control and we'll get fined.

I have practically NO social life anymore. All I do is work and hang out with Kevin. Nothing wrong with hanging out with Kevin. It's just I wish I had more friends outside of work to go do things with. He gets to do his gaming stuff with Boojie and all of them, and I get to hear about that, but I don't do shit outside of working all the damn time. Makes me feel like nobody likes me.

Running into a rut with my own online gaming, especially with Starbright. Sort of regretting the whole storyline/angle I've got going with Rio, especially since they're looking to hook Jem back up with Riot. *GRRRRRRRRRR* I know, I shouldn't get so worked up over it. They're just characters, after all. But you get attached to whom you're playing, and you feel the same sort of emotions. So much I want to do with Rio, but just feeling stifled.

Feeling like a failure with my writing in general. Have so many ideas, but none of them translate to paper well. Getting very discouraged.

Always tired and exhausted. Semi-depressed. Feeling like there's a big void in my life. Just questioning a lot of things going for me right now. The tiniest things make me want to cry anymore, for no stupid reason. A couple of days ago, Andy was going on and on about how long I've been working at Strack's and he was all, "You should be so proud!" What, for working at Strack's a little over a year? I was at Blockbuster for about four years. Believe me, I'm NOT proud of this job. I'm grateful I have a job, but this is just a crappy paying job. This is nothing to be proud of. I can do much better than this.
hollybrooke: (Default)
So I have my crap-tastic Micron in my room now. Kevin managed to work the bugs out, so it's not so crap-tastic anymore. (It's not a slow-ass piece of junk! YAY!) And I'm all set for Hunter to do whatever he has to do to get the high-speed set up in my room. I mean, I'm paying him $30 a month for this. I should be able to have it installed by now, right?

HELL no. That selfish turd can't seem to sit down to measure how long the line he needs to hard-wire it will be. He's always got his ass in his room on his high-speed connection, or playing XBox Live, or fooling around with Jessica, or out and about with his friends. Hunter, KEEP YOUR ASS AT HOME!!!!!! I'm going to quit paying him this $30 a month if I can't use the Internet in my room and if he can't take care of it.

*tangent* I had a weird dream last night. Read more... )
hollybrooke: (Jesus does not approve of this)
Anger all around today. Angry at Dad for just being an asshole. Angry with my piece o' crap computer for not wanting to give me Internet access. (I'm on the computers at the library right now.) Angry with work for being on audit (as always). Angry at Hunter for hogging the high-speed Internet, and being allowed to take a blow-day off of school just so he can play Grand theft Auto 4 all frickin' day. Angry with library computer because they won't allow access to MySpace. Well, not exactly angry with the library over this because it's a wise idea, really. But what an inconvenience. The one time I wanted to use MySpace for something useful (to put a message out to all who have software for Windows XP, if I can borrow it so I can upgrade my operating system from Windows ME), and the library bans access to MySpace.

But yeah...work majorly pissing me off yet again. For one thing...this audit business is just a joke. I've said it time and time again, and last night, there was a problem with two of my checks. Not one, but two. And my drawer was over by $10. A was all, "You'll probably be on audit longer for this one." (*rolls eyes* Well, no shit, sherlock.) And then she tells me not to get all upset over it. I'm sorry, but I'm the one who's been cashiering for seven years, I haven't had any problems with my drawers at either Spencer's or Blockbuster (aside from the Danielle situation, but Sheri and I figured that one out), so why the hell am I all of a sudden having problems cashiering now, at this job?

Here's the other thing that's pissing me off about work. A week or so ago, there was a posting up in the breakroom for a meat-wrapper position. It pays pretty well, the hours look good, and it could lead up to full-time. I don't care if it's in the meat department. If I can get myself away from being up at the front end...where I am continually getting into trouble for stupid little things not even worth getting into trouble over, and being under pressure because I'm continually being put on audit...then I think I can deal with working in the meat department. Hell, Kevin worked in the meat department at WiseWay. M comes up to me and looks surprised that I expressed interest in the meat-wrapping position. She wanted to know why; I told her it was something different (I would've liked to have told her "So it gets me away from being a cashier and you putting me on audit all the damn time."). She then makes some comment about "That job must be gross, you'd have your hands in meat all the time, yeech." OH BIG EFFIN' DEAL, you think all women don't like that sort of thing?

She's weird like that. And if she calls me into her office to discipline me or make me sign anything, I'm not doing so until I have the Union rep present. (UPDATE: I've already left a message with him...waiting for a response), and I'd rather be bumped down to a UC or be considered for that position in the meat department.
hollybrooke: (hate early)
It seems the only way I'll be able to get out of working at Blockbuster anymore is if I just up and quit with no other job lined up. If I go apply at other places, they'll call up our store for a reference, and I'm pretty sure Scott will give them a shitty reference of me just so they won't hire me and he can keep me around. That's what I honestly feel like is happening. Jessica put in her two weeks', and I don't think Brooke's going to stick around for much longer, either. I can't handle this.


hollybrooke: (Default)

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