Jan. 17th, 2012

hollybrooke: (Default)
Okay. I really don't like to talk about my romantic life too much on even my LiveJournal, but it's weighing on my mind.

So we had our first disagreement in four years right before New Year's Eve over my/our plans for New Year's Eve. He got annoyed that I hadn't made any plans. Mainly, I think he was annoyed that I didn't include him in my no-plan. Quite frankly, like I've said before on here, I'm getting tired of feeling like we're attached to the hip and I have to do everything with him.

So we had a talk about this. We agreed that yes, the relationship is in a rut. He says he's committed to the relationship, but saying you are and acting like it are two different things. It's been four years. I don't see us moving in together anytime soon, and I certainly don't see him putting a ring on my finger. A commitment is a lot more than just going out for the usual movie-burger-backseat once every week, and it's more than a five-minute talk every day on the phone to keep tabs on one another. And he doesn't really want to be having these sorts of conversations with me.

I have dreams and goals. Goals that will eventually take me far out of Indiana. I don't think he is willing to make that sort of commitment for me. He says he is, but for some reason, I don't really buy it.

Mom says she wishes he would just propose already, but (and I know this sounds bad) I hope he doesn't. The two of us getting married isn't going to solve our obvious problems. I wish he would follow through with more of his "oh yeah, I'm committed" speak.

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hollybrooke

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